Saturday, 8 December 2012

Bona Conjugalities

Scene: A bijou boutique in The Lanes, Brighton

Sandy:  Oooh, ello Mr Horne. My name's Sandy and this is my friend Julian. Come in and 'ave a vade at the first omi-palone and palone-omi wedding arrangers"Bona Conjugalities", will you? 

Julian:  He will, and all. We do all the hard arranging, sorting out the schlumph and the jarry,  picking the clobber and batts, getting the best riah zhooshers...

Sandy: We know the most fantabulosa crimper. And we're trying out all the bonaroo omi moon latties in bijou hotels for the nupts.

Kenneth Horne: Do you discuss  the church service with the vicar, get the marriage licence, publish the banns, pay the organist?

Sandy: No, we don't do that, Mr Horne.

Julian: How very dare you, nanti metza for trade, we have our pride.

Is Dave on a mission to wreck the Conservative Party a la Mulroney and Campbell in Canada in the early nineties? He claims he wants gay marriage in churches precisely because he is so firmly in favour of marriage. 

But Dave isn't really favour of marriage: if he was he would restore the old practice of joint assessment of income that was reformed away by fellow "Conservative" Ken Clarke. That would enable a married couple to minimise their tax bill and honour their marriage vows, ie "and with all my worldly goods I thee endow". When I wrote to Dave about this a minion replied with a PFO, adding that my letter had been forwarded to the Ministry of Justice despite my letter being a complaint about an agency of MinJus having an unfair policy on income when assessing charges for powers of attorney.

Dave's just chasing the Notting Hill dinner party vote. Loser.

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