News Of The World Grassed Up Jesus

Shocking revelations are emerging that Judas Iscariot was not actually to blame for Jesus being arrested by Roman soldiers in the Garden of Gethsemane. Apparently, Jesus's prediction of betrayal at the Last Supper was hacked from the mobile scroll of the apostle Peter by a Pharisee working for the News of the World and was passed on to "sources close to" the same Jewish priests who had paid Judas thirty pieces of silver for the work. Allegedly, the owners of the News of the World wanted to gain influence with the Sanhedrin and become the dominant supplier of Torahs, icons and tryptichs in both the Middle East and the wider market because advertising revenue from town criers and prophets was in terminal decline .
Recent work by biblical scholars suggest that Judas actually killed himself after he discovered that his silver coins had been swapped by the apocryphal thirteenth disciple St Gordon, patron saint of mentals, for a basketful of euros and other worthless papyri.