Saturday, 23 April 2011

That's Not What I Pay My Taxes For: Number 3

Edward Miliband's nose job. If people find his nasal voice irritating he should embrace Austerity Britain and talk less. Never did Clement Attlee any harm. Why can't a Labour Luvvie pay for it instead?

Fellow Travellers And The Space Traveller

What is it with the Establishment, especially the London Establishment? Just when I thought they had entered into a civil partnership with muzzie extremists they return to their first love and plan to install a zinc-resin copy of a Soviet-Era statue of Yuri Gagarin  just off the Mall. It's fifty years since the 5'2" pilot followed several trailblazing dogs and completed an orbit of the earth. Ignore the fact that Kruschev wanted to show the American public that the intercontinental missiles that launched Sputnik could now deliver bigger nuclear weapons on the continental US. Why is British Council money being wasted on the aggrandisement of a failed genocidal state that collapsed in a haze of vodka over twenty years ago. Apart from the Gulag, the Kalashnikov and male-female shot-putters, what did the USSR do for us? Why not an exhibition on  the successful Blue Streak and Black Arrow rockets and their cancellation by Establishment idiots?
Why not celebrate the British genius of Sir Frank Whittle properly? I can heartily recommend Robert Hardman's article and also the Whittle DVD. Admittedly, there is a statue of Sir Frank Whittle at the centre of the universe, which is right and proper,  but putting him on a plinth in Trafalgar Square would show Cockneys that 99% of Britain's inventors flourished outside The Great Wen. Indeed, I'm amazed that Londoners allowed the belated erection of a statue of the great New Zealand fighter leader Sir Keith Park in Waterloo Place off Haymarket, when he deserves a place of honour for saving London during the daylight Battle of Britain. The fact that the Luftwaffe subsequently blitzed the country almost at will at night is best forgotten.
And the reference to Fellow Travellers in the title? Perhaps they are more properly Useful Idiots. Either way, the statue of Yuri Gagarin is more suited to the campus of the National Space Centre in Leicester.

Friday, 22 April 2011

That's Not What I Pay My Taxes For: Number 2

£650 million aid to Pakistan.  Lovely people, aren't they?

Arithmetic On The Frontier

By Rudyard Kipling:

A great and glorious thing it is
To learn, for seven years or so,
The Lord knows what of that and this,
Ere reckoned fit to face the foe --
The flying bullet down the Pass,
That whistles clear: "All flesh is grass."

Three hundred pounds per annum spent
On making brain and body meeter
For all the murderous intent
Comprised in "villanous saltpetre!"
And after -- ask the Yusufzaies
What comes of all our 'ologies.

A scrimmage in a Border Station --
A canter down some dark defile --
Two thousand pounds of education
Drops to a ten-rupee jezail --
The Crammer's boast, the Squadron's pride,
Shot like a rabbit in a ride!

No proposition Euclid wrote,
No formulae the text-books know,
Will turn the bullet from your coat,
Or ward the tulwar's downward blow
Strike hard who cares -- shoot straight who can --
The odds are on the cheaper man.

One sword-knot stolen from the camp
Will pay for all the school expenses
Of any Kurrum Valley scamp
Who knows no word of moods and tenses,
But, being blessed with perfect sight,
Picks off our messmates left and right.

With home-bred hordes the hillsides teem,
The troop-ships bring us one by one,
At vast expense of time and steam,
To slay Afridis where they run.
The "captives of our bow and spear"
Are cheap -- alas! as we are dear.

According to Wikiquote:

"Arithmetic on the Frontier was first published in Departmental Ditties and Other Verses in 1886. The poem was written about the Second Anglo-Afghan war, describing the conflict between highly-educated British soldiers and poor tribesmen."  Progress.

The AV Referendum: A Question

Why is it First Past The Post? Wouldn't listing one's preferences on the ballot paper be fairer? Wouldn't both sides in the debate have to "work harder" to represent more people's opinions?

Thursday, 21 April 2011

Daily Mail Gives Pontiff A Makeover

The correct word is beatification. Sub-editors beat spellcheckers hands down. Or reading what one has written.

Update: Daily Mail article amended to beatification and beatified at 11:17 pm.

"That's Not What I Pay My Taxes For": David Cameron 2011

Apparently, over 80,000 people claim Incapacity Benefit because they are too fat or drunk to hold a job down. Well, not everyone can be an MP, Chairman or Chief Executive.

Dave "I shall wear morning dress at the wedding  after all"* Cameron, drew a distinction between the "undeserving ill" and "people who are incapacitated through no fault of their own".  Er, Dave, remember the righteous claiming that promiscuous gays who caught HIV/Aids through unprotected sex were martyrs of heterosexual oppression and were not to blame for their lifestyle choices. (4,030 on Incap with unspecified AIDS versus 1,830 for obesity).

Here's what I don't pay my taxes for (in no particular order as all are equally undeserving):

Overseas Aid
Wasted defence expenditure
Translation services
Giving prisoners televisions
Climate Change and associated Green Fraud
Benefits for immigrants
The European Union
Sham Charidees
The Electoral Commission
The Charidees Commission
MPs and Councillor's allowances
Footballer level salaries of Town Clerks and Senior Civil Servants

There will be more....

*The only decision left open to him and it was probably made by his spin-doctors.

Tuesday, 19 April 2011

Volcanic Ash One Year On: Why Was There No VC-10 K.3 Air Sampling?

photo with thanks to Paul Hermans, Wikipedia

Remember this time last year when almost all commercial flying over the North Atlantic and Western Europe was cancelled because of volcanic ash from an Icelandic volcano that only Icelanders could pronounce? Eyjafjallajökull.

Remember how the airspace was closed because of predictions from computer models of the movement of volcanic ash particles that would wreck jet engines? The UK's Met Office was responsible for the North Atlantic and the NERC handled the operation of a twin-turboprop Dornier 228 capable of sampling up to 20,000 feet and a LIDAR-equipped BAe 146 four-engined short-haul jet that could reach 31,000 ft to take actual measurements. Unfortunately at the critical time, the BAe 146 was having a paintjob and had to be rushed out of the hangar...

However, back in 1983 the RAF ordered four VC-10 K.3 tankers, the last three of which (ZA148-150) had provision for air sampling pods (believed to be converted Sea Vixen drop tanks) to be fitted under the wing*.  This was because the Vulcan B.2MRRs of 27 Squadron which hitherto performed this role were being retired and the squadron disbanded.  In 2006 two VC-10 K.3s fitted with the pods flew to Japan to monitor the North Korean nuclear test. And again in 2009 according to the Times and PPRuNE.

It beggars belief that an aircraft with the transatlantic range (5,855 nautical miles without air-to-air-refuelling) and 38,000 ft service ceiling of the VC-10 was not used to gather data on the ash to confirm the computer model predictions. Flying could have been resumed earlier as aircraft could have diverted around the dispersed ash plumes. I googled ZA148, ZA149 and ZA150 and found plenty of lovely photos of all three aircraft flying before and after the imposition of the Atlantic NFZ.

Were all three aircraft unserviceable or otherwise engaged at the time?

* Either on the fifth (spare) engine attachment close to the starboard wing root or (more likely) in place of the outer wing hose drum refueling units.

Monday, 11 April 2011

Have They Lost The Nelson Touch?

This advert at the top of the AoL homepage appears a smidge tactless in view of recent events.

Update 13/4/2011. A frigate has replaced the submarine:

Update 17/4/2011: Despite their world famous expertise with iPlayers or iPods, yes.  I hope they have a fucketty-fuck-fuck button on Trident subs to press to undo a key-stroke error.

Update 17/4/2011: I reckon the silhouette is actually of a Type 45 Dearthing class destroyer. Still, no secrets lost.

Thursday, 7 April 2011

Daily Telegraph Dispenses With Sub-Editors

Do they even read what they write? As a rule of thumb, ancestors come before descendants. Mind you, if the descendants of posh people living today were able to defeat King Harold and put William the Bastard on the throne of England nearly a thousand years ago (1066-Ed) that is evidence of progress. For time travel, not social mobility.

On reflection, descendent is preferable to descendant because the root verb is third conjugation and its infinitive ends in -ere. Hence -ent.  But how many Telegraph writers have even an O Level in Latin nowadays?

Wednesday, 6 April 2011

Why Does Pakistan Get An Apology But I Don't, Dave?

You broke your promise to me to have a referendum on the Lisbon Treaty and replaced it with a referendum to help the Limpdims.

Yet you visit Pakistan with an aid bribe of £600 million (how many Pakistani nuclear warheads will that buy, Dave?) to soothe the hurt feelings of the pyjamaed bomb-makers there and the postal vote scammers here in England. And you have the ignorant cheek (which took some doing after your "junior partner in 1940" gaffe ) to say  "I don’t want to try to insert Britain in some leading role where, as with so many of the world’s problems, we are responsible for the issue in the first place." in answer to a question about how the Kashmir problem could be solved.  The lad is too thick to say "By stopping killing each other and instead talk to each other sensibly". India and Pakistan were granted independence at their request in 1947. They have had 63 years to solve the problem that was caused by the Hindu Maharajah wanting his majority muslim state to belong to secular India instead of overtly muslim Pakistan.

If England was so awful to Pakistanis, why did so many people leave Pakistan after independence for a better life in England. Indeed, England remains so resolutely anti-Pakistan that arranged marriages are organised to import a shallow gene pool of Pakistani cousins into England to marry into the million plus Pakistani-heritage community. 

An apology for the 7 July 2005 bombings and disproportionate involvement of members of the community in grooming of underage girls and fraud of all sorts (and don't explain it away as jizya from dhimmis) plus ain institutional refusal to integrate into British society ought to have been given by the Pakistani Prime Minister instead. Prime Minister? Oh yes a vestige of the parliamentary, civil service, legal system and armed forces that Britain gifted Pakistan at Independence. Just imagine how things could be now if Pakistan's ruling elite hadn't been even more corrupt and incompetent than its Indian counterpart.

Sunday, 3 April 2011

Paypal And The EU

I received an email this morning from Paypal headed "We Noticed An Issue With Your Account".

 The email continued (with wider spacing than below):

"We need your help resolving an issue with your PayPal account.

What's the problem?

Please provide the necessary information by 18/05/2011. If we don't receive

the information in time, we are required by law to limit access to your
account. When PayPal limits an account, your funds may be held until we've

confirmed your identification as per the User Agreement".

Yeah, right spoof. So I forwarded it to . But I also opened my Paypal account. Jings! as Subrosa is wont to exclaim.  Text in a red-lined box repeated the request. Apparently, the catch-all "EU Regulations" (EU Regulations cause global warming) required me to provide additional information about my business status (individual, mind your own Barroso!) to combat money laundering, fraud and confirm my identity. No matter that I have had a Paypal account since 2002.

No matter that the EU's accounts are riddled with more holes than very high throughflow sieve or that they have not been signed off by auditors for the past sixteen consecutive years. I shall write to Muddy Barroso
and inform him that unless he supplies financial detail sufficient to convince the Court of Auditors that the EU isn't a money-laundering gang by 18/05/2011, I will limit access by his EU cult to my affairs. Isn't it time to ignore such time-wasters who wish to create their own version of Angria, Gondal, Gaaldine and Oceania with its equally childish flag?

Saturday, 2 April 2011

Teaching Arabs The Wisdom Of Beaufoy's Verses

Libyan Rebels hosed off some Arab confetti at an A-10 Warthog and were surprised when 13 of them were killed and 7 injured by return fire. Why should they fire at an aircraft when NATO has established a No-Fly Zone for their protection?

The Beaufoy Verses, learned by heart by every responsible person handling a firearm, have never been translated into Arabic. The first verse, below, is the most important:

Never, never let you gun pointed be at anyone; that it may unloaded be matters not the least to me.

Young Johnny Simpson of the BBC said Arabs shooting off in an undisciplined fashion was a cultural thing that NATO has to learn. Er, no, it's the other way round you dhimmi moron. Arabs obviously use firearms to compensate for their inherent small penis anxiety.

Negligent discharge of a weapon is a cross-cultural offence and deserves severe punishment.

Friday, 1 April 2011


Two religions, ten deaths. Both parties ignore the peaceful messages in their holy books. Innocent people pay the price of the primitive hatred of idiots who rely on the collected wisdom of camel herders instead of thinking for themselves.