Sunday, 2 January 2011

Let Them Learn Building Maintenance As Part Of Their (Extended) Sentence

I have no sympathy for the crims who rioted and burnt down their accommodation etc at HMP Ford. The poor lambs' yuman rites will be infringed if they aren't moved to the nearest 5* boutique hotel or spa resort by nightfall (make sure they get replacement tellies and iPods as well) and vampire lawyers will jump in to help them blag tax money on a contingency fee. Tough. I suggest that Clarkey stubs out his stogie and watches The Dirty Dozen for policy inspiration. Not the capital punishment (we can't expect too much sense from the Hep Cat too quickly) but the scenes where the temporarily reprieved prisoners jump down off their truck at the new training camp. Instead of huts (I slept in nicely modernised* ones at RAF Cardington) they are confronted by piles of building materials. Major Reismann (Lee Marvin) tells them that they will sleep out of the rain after they have built the huts themselves - after each day's training. As Clarkey might say "Niiiice." If they don't like it they can always vote for someone else!

Send a few dozen old shipping containers to site to get them started:

And if they haven't got running water or no CH? Well, how about release and tagging in Northern Ireland or a frozen boiler condensate outlet pipe for a dose of freedom?

*modernised, ie individual rooms and no coke stoke at the end. Luxury.

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