Tuesday, 28 December 2010

Bread & Circuses

Dave and Nickie have come up with a brilliant idea to make parliamentary democracy more relevant (ie make people forget about crap MPs now that the tellyfests are over). ePetitions with more than 100,000 signatories will be debated in the Commons.
Utter cockwaffle. Anybody with a memory (the enemy of the political establishment) will remember the Today Programme's Listener's Law vote of Christmas 2003. The deeply nasty Stephen Pound MP (check his voting history) pledged (well, he is an MP) that he would introduce a Private Member's bill to put the listeners' preferred option on the statute book. How I laughed when the crowd (to use a Colosseum analogy voted for homeowners to be able to use lethal force to defend their family and home against burglars. Of course, the establishment wouldn't permit a return of power to the inmates of HMP England. Pound's reaction "ludicrous, brutal, unworkable blood-stained piece of legislation. I can't remember who it was who said, `The people have spoken, the bastards'" encapsulated why we hate Westminster village.

Anyway, despite my rejection of this time-wasting distraction by MPs(run the country properly and hold the executive to account, you moronic narcissists) here are my ideas I will enact by decree:

1 Restoration of capital punishment for murderers and traitors;

2 Withdrawal from the EU;

3 Repeal of the Human Rights Act and replacement by a Bill of Rights and Duties;

4 Deportation without appeal for all illegal immigrants and immigrants who have committed any crime. To include dependent family members;

5 International Aid to be allocated on the basis of helping British interests;

6 Reform of the Armed Forces. Courage and getting on with it is not a solution;

7 Scrapping the Barnett Formula of overpayment to non-English regions. Why should Morningside get more per capita than Moss Side?

8 No public sector job to be paid more than £100.000 per year. No private sector company paying staff more than £100,000 to be awarded government contracts;

9 Abolition of the House of Lords and Life Peerages. Honours to be limited to 100 per year;

10 Gaoling of Anthony Charles Lynton Blair and Alastair Campbell for life. Surcharging of James Gordon Brown;

11 Drug addiction to be treated with cold turkey until cured;

12 No automatic early release from prison. Punish, Reform, Deter.

13 Day two .... Your turn.


James Higham said...

Love N2 in particular.

Thud said...

HNY my good man!

Brian said...

Thank you, Your Grace. May I wish you and your expanding family an equally Happy New Year (twice, including Chinese New Year).

(Well, you deserve an enoblement for the brilliant restoration you are overseeing at Thud Towers.

TUCKS said...

I would also insist on any (legal) male immigrant to be posted in the Army for a minimum of 2 years before being allowed to stay in this country and, inevitably, bring his family over.

Brian said...

@TUCKS, Welcome to the blog. An excellent idea, although two years' service would produce a well-trained soldier. I'd prefer five minimum plus seven in the reserves to get our money's worth. Ideally, a British-officered foreign legion type regiment would be established for more risky foreign interventions to unacceptable to the rightly "casualty-shy" British public. Let foreigners fight their own wars for a change; our soldiers must be for British defence only. The whole of Iraq and Afghanistan is not worth the bones of one British Grenadier.