Tuesday, 28 December 2010

Bread & Circuses

Dave and Nickie have come up with a brilliant idea to make parliamentary democracy more relevant (ie make people forget about crap MPs now that the tellyfests are over). ePetitions with more than 100,000 signatories will be debated in the Commons.
Utter cockwaffle. Anybody with a memory (the enemy of the political establishment) will remember the Today Programme's Listener's Law vote of Christmas 2003. The deeply nasty Stephen Pound MP (check his voting history) pledged (well, he is an MP) that he would introduce a Private Member's bill to put the listeners' preferred option on the statute book. How I laughed when the crowd (to use a Colosseum analogy voted for homeowners to be able to use lethal force to defend their family and home against burglars. Of course, the establishment wouldn't permit a return of power to the inmates of HMP England. Pound's reaction "ludicrous, brutal, unworkable blood-stained piece of legislation. I can't remember who it was who said, `The people have spoken, the bastards'" encapsulated why we hate Westminster village.

Anyway, despite my rejection of this time-wasting distraction by MPs(run the country properly and hold the executive to account, you moronic narcissists) here are my ideas I will enact by decree:

1 Restoration of capital punishment for murderers and traitors;

2 Withdrawal from the EU;

3 Repeal of the Human Rights Act and replacement by a Bill of Rights and Duties;

4 Deportation without appeal for all illegal immigrants and immigrants who have committed any crime. To include dependent family members;

5 International Aid to be allocated on the basis of helping British interests;

6 Reform of the Armed Forces. Courage and getting on with it is not a solution;

7 Scrapping the Barnett Formula of overpayment to non-English regions. Why should Morningside get more per capita than Moss Side?

8 No public sector job to be paid more than £100.000 per year. No private sector company paying staff more than £100,000 to be awarded government contracts;

9 Abolition of the House of Lords and Life Peerages. Honours to be limited to 100 per year;

10 Gaoling of Anthony Charles Lynton Blair and Alastair Campbell for life. Surcharging of James Gordon Brown;

11 Drug addiction to be treated with cold turkey until cured;

12 No automatic early release from prison. Punish, Reform, Deter.

13 Day two .... Your turn.

Saturday, 25 December 2010

Caribbean Christmas Trifle

Merry Christmas!


McVities Ginger Cake
Ginger biscuits
Dark rum
Tin of mangos
Two bananas
One each Orange and Lime 1 pint jellies
1 pint Custard
300g Mascarpone Cheese
300ml Whipping Cream
Caster Sugar two heaped tablespoonfuls
3-4 tablespoons desiccated coconut
3 pieces of stem ginger cut into matchsticks

Note: read all the instructions and assemble the ingredients before starting. If you’re planning on having this on Christmas Day, make the jellies on 23 December.

Make the jellies and allow them to set as per instructions. I use old plastic ice cream containers for convenience. Chop the set jellies into half inch cubes.

Cut the ginger cake into half inch cubes and layer the bottom of a trifle bowl. Use ginger biscuits broken into quarters to fill up any gaps. Sprinkle four capfuls of dark rum over the cake and biscuit mix.

Drain the mangos, saving the juice or syrup for drizzling over the ginger cake and biscuits. Chop the bananas. Spread out mangos and bananas onto the ginger cake and biscuits. Layer the chopped jellies over the fruit. Cover bowl with clingfilm and put somewhere cold.

Make the custard as per instructions or use ready made. Save proper egg custard for bread and butter pudding.

Try this option: I put the desiccated coconut into the pint of milk for the custard and gently bring up to a boil before straining out the coconut, briefly rinsing under a cold tap and allowing it to dry. It adds a moreish coconut taste to the custard, as you would expect.

When the custard has cooled to room temperature pour it over the jelly layer. Allow to set

Gently toast the desiccated coconut until lightly brown and set aside. Chop the stem ginger into matchsticks.

With a whisk or electric beater, whip the mascarpone and whipping cream together. Add a capful or two of dark rum and two heaped tablespoonfuls of caster sugar.

Spread the cream out over the set custard and decorate with a fork. Sprinkle over the toasted coconut and chopped ginger. Bung in the fridge or somewhere cold for an hour before serving.


Wednesday, 22 December 2010


St Vince Cable, legend on his own dancefloor, appears to to have shot his mouth off before engaging brain and kicked his career in the knackers. By researching weaknesses in Libdem MPs, ie the majority like pretty young women taking an interest in what they say, two Telegraph totties embarrassed him by revealing that he could bring down the Coalition if he wished (like Samson, one presumes). And then Rrrrrooobbeerrrt Ppppeeeessssttttooon gets a leak (that the Telegraph didn't publish) that Vinnie hates Murdoch and News International (who they behind paywall?) that could prejudice the Business Secretary's actions concerning the takeover of BSkyB. No wonder Twinkletoes is VinnieLeaks, I bet he's pissing himself that Nickie Clegg grows the balls to sack the geriatric pain in the arse - a term now mainly reserved for Tory "Chase Me" MPs.

Saturday, 18 December 2010

Throw Another Wind Turbine Blade On The Fire

It's very cold in England because of weather and not because politically-driven global warming has shot its bolt. Thankfully, in the UK we are planning to generate X% of our blackouts from renewable wind power (with capacity payments to foreign-owned producers to install back-up gas and coal-fired stations to take over when the wind doesn't blow and when it's too windy). Two windspeeds are important for turbines, the cut-in speed and the rated speed. The cut in speed is when the turbine starts generating electricity; it's about 7-10 mph. The rated speed is when the turbine generates what it says on the tin; that's between 25-35 mph. Let's see today's windspeeds. And today's temperatures. Oh Christopher Paul-Huhne, you are a silly sausage.

Thursday, 16 December 2010

Asylum seekers?

It's really sad that 27 people, believed to have come from Iraq and Iran, have drowned off Christmas Island in an attempt to claim asylum in Australia. Anyone with a basic knowledge of geography (which rules out leftie internationalist aid wasters) knows that Australia is not next door to Iraq and Iran. It's odd that people in fear of persecution didn't just turn themselves over to the authorities in neighbouring countries citing United Nations treaty obligations. Any port in a storm. However, the crap countries in between wouldn't provide the justice and culture of opportunity that Australia offers to successful immigrants. They prefer to criticise the West for causing all the problems in their corner of the world. Rather hypocritical when the vast majority of population of the countries on the way to Australia follow a religion, some say a way of life, one of whose pillars is giving charity to the needy. But the asylum seekers were probably the wrong sect and feared persecution from their co-religionists in the umma. Ironically, the people on the boat were not seeking asylum but running away from the asylum or madhouse that is the muslim world. Why can't they behave better to each other and the rest of the world?

Monday, 6 December 2010

Airports Don't Have To Be Snowbound

Gatwick, Doncaster and Glagow Airports have experienced runway closures because of heavy snowfalls. These events are unnecessary if investment in available technology is made.

During WW2 several airfields were kept open in foggy weather through the use of the petrol- burning FIDO (Fog Investagation and Dispersals Operation) system which dissipated fog by increasing air temperature adjacent to the runway. Approximately 10,000 aircrew were saved by being able to divert to FIDO-equipped airfields. FIDO is too expensive and unecessary to be resurrected because there is a cheaper, more efficient alternative available.

I'm not suggesting towing old jet aircraft up and down to melt the snow either.

My suggestion is to combine geothermal/groundsource heatpump and underfloor heating technology. Use the large areas of flat grassland around the runways that all airfields have to bury water-filled coils to extract the heat from the ground, the temperature of which stays pretty constant throughout the year, pump it through a heat exchanger and you have warm water to heat the runways directly or a source of energy to generate electrical power. Any summer surplus can be sold to the grid.

Much cheaper and environmentally-friendly than ridiculous wind-turbines. Action this day Christopher Paul-Huhne.