MP Comes Out

In an emotional pay-per-view statement this afternoon, Conservative/LibDem/Labour MP Crispy Duck revealed that he was leaving his partner of twenty years after admitting that he preferred money. "I love money, the folding stuff, the coins, even the numbers on my bank statement and I feel I should be more honest with myself. What I earn goes further if I don't have to share it. " He claimed that there was no third party involved, yet Duck has already updated his website with a Paypal donation button. Parliamentary friends on all sides have dismissed critics of Duck as greedybastardphobic and hope that he will be soon able to log back onto the IPSA expenses portal.