Tuesday, 28 December 2010

Bread & Circuses

Dave and Nickie have come up with a brilliant idea to make parliamentary democracy more relevant (ie make people forget about crap MPs now that the tellyfests are over). ePetitions with more than 100,000 signatories will be debated in the Commons.
Utter cockwaffle. Anybody with a memory (the enemy of the political establishment) will remember the Today Programme's Listener's Law vote of Christmas 2003. The deeply nasty Stephen Pound MP (check his voting history) pledged (well, he is an MP) that he would introduce a Private Member's bill to put the listeners' preferred option on the statute book. How I laughed when the crowd (to use a Colosseum analogy voted for homeowners to be able to use lethal force to defend their family and home against burglars. Of course, the establishment wouldn't permit a return of power to the inmates of HMP England. Pound's reaction "ludicrous, brutal, unworkable blood-stained piece of legislation. I can't remember who it was who said, `The people have spoken, the bastards'" encapsulated why we hate Westminster village.

Anyway, despite my rejection of this time-wasting distraction by MPs(run the country properly and hold the executive to account, you moronic narcissists) here are my ideas I will enact by decree:

1 Restoration of capital punishment for murderers and traitors;

2 Withdrawal from the EU;

3 Repeal of the Human Rights Act and replacement by a Bill of Rights and Duties;

4 Deportation without appeal for all illegal immigrants and immigrants who have committed any crime. To include dependent family members;

5 International Aid to be allocated on the basis of helping British interests;

6 Reform of the Armed Forces. Courage and getting on with it is not a solution;

7 Scrapping the Barnett Formula of overpayment to non-English regions. Why should Morningside get more per capita than Moss Side?

8 No public sector job to be paid more than £100.000 per year. No private sector company paying staff more than £100,000 to be awarded government contracts;

9 Abolition of the House of Lords and Life Peerages. Honours to be limited to 100 per year;

10 Gaoling of Anthony Charles Lynton Blair and Alastair Campbell for life. Surcharging of James Gordon Brown;

11 Drug addiction to be treated with cold turkey until cured;

12 No automatic early release from prison. Punish, Reform, Deter.

13 Day two .... Your turn.

Saturday, 25 December 2010

Caribbean Christmas Trifle

Merry Christmas!


McVities Ginger Cake
Ginger biscuits
Dark rum
Tin of mangos
Two bananas
One each Orange and Lime 1 pint jellies
1 pint Custard
300g Mascarpone Cheese
300ml Whipping Cream
Caster Sugar two heaped tablespoonfuls
3-4 tablespoons desiccated coconut
3 pieces of stem ginger cut into matchsticks

Note: read all the instructions and assemble the ingredients before starting. If you’re planning on having this on Christmas Day, make the jellies on 23 December.

Make the jellies and allow them to set as per instructions. I use old plastic ice cream containers for convenience. Chop the set jellies into half inch cubes.

Cut the ginger cake into half inch cubes and layer the bottom of a trifle bowl. Use ginger biscuits broken into quarters to fill up any gaps. Sprinkle four capfuls of dark rum over the cake and biscuit mix.

Drain the mangos, saving the juice or syrup for drizzling over the ginger cake and biscuits. Chop the bananas. Spread out mangos and bananas onto the ginger cake and biscuits. Layer the chopped jellies over the fruit. Cover bowl with clingfilm and put somewhere cold.

Make the custard as per instructions or use ready made. Save proper egg custard for bread and butter pudding.

Try this option: I put the desiccated coconut into the pint of milk for the custard and gently bring up to a boil before straining out the coconut, briefly rinsing under a cold tap and allowing it to dry. It adds a moreish coconut taste to the custard, as you would expect.

When the custard has cooled to room temperature pour it over the jelly layer. Allow to set

Gently toast the desiccated coconut until lightly brown and set aside. Chop the stem ginger into matchsticks.

With a whisk or electric beater, whip the mascarpone and whipping cream together. Add a capful or two of dark rum and two heaped tablespoonfuls of caster sugar.

Spread the cream out over the set custard and decorate with a fork. Sprinkle over the toasted coconut and chopped ginger. Bung in the fridge or somewhere cold for an hour before serving.


Wednesday, 22 December 2010


St Vince Cable, legend on his own dancefloor, appears to to have shot his mouth off before engaging brain and kicked his career in the knackers. By researching weaknesses in Libdem MPs, ie the majority like pretty young women taking an interest in what they say, two Telegraph totties embarrassed him by revealing that he could bring down the Coalition if he wished (like Samson, one presumes). And then Rrrrrooobbeerrrt Ppppeeeessssttttooon gets a leak (that the Telegraph didn't publish) that Vinnie hates Murdoch and News International (who they behind paywall?) that could prejudice the Business Secretary's actions concerning the takeover of BSkyB. No wonder Twinkletoes is VinnieLeaks, I bet he's pissing himself that Nickie Clegg grows the balls to sack the geriatric pain in the arse - a term now mainly reserved for Tory "Chase Me" MPs.

Saturday, 18 December 2010

Throw Another Wind Turbine Blade On The Fire

It's very cold in England because of weather and not because politically-driven global warming has shot its bolt. Thankfully, in the UK we are planning to generate X% of our blackouts from renewable wind power (with capacity payments to foreign-owned producers to install back-up gas and coal-fired stations to take over when the wind doesn't blow and when it's too windy). Two windspeeds are important for turbines, the cut-in speed and the rated speed. The cut in speed is when the turbine starts generating electricity; it's about 7-10 mph. The rated speed is when the turbine generates what it says on the tin; that's between 25-35 mph. Let's see today's windspeeds. And today's temperatures. Oh Christopher Paul-Huhne, you are a silly sausage.

Thursday, 16 December 2010

Asylum seekers?

It's really sad that 27 people, believed to have come from Iraq and Iran, have drowned off Christmas Island in an attempt to claim asylum in Australia. Anyone with a basic knowledge of geography (which rules out leftie internationalist aid wasters) knows that Australia is not next door to Iraq and Iran. It's odd that people in fear of persecution didn't just turn themselves over to the authorities in neighbouring countries citing United Nations treaty obligations. Any port in a storm. However, the crap countries in between wouldn't provide the justice and culture of opportunity that Australia offers to successful immigrants. They prefer to criticise the West for causing all the problems in their corner of the world. Rather hypocritical when the vast majority of population of the countries on the way to Australia follow a religion, some say a way of life, one of whose pillars is giving charity to the needy. But the asylum seekers were probably the wrong sect and feared persecution from their co-religionists in the umma. Ironically, the people on the boat were not seeking asylum but running away from the asylum or madhouse that is the muslim world. Why can't they behave better to each other and the rest of the world?

Monday, 6 December 2010

Airports Don't Have To Be Snowbound

Gatwick, Doncaster and Glagow Airports have experienced runway closures because of heavy snowfalls. These events are unnecessary if investment in available technology is made.

During WW2 several airfields were kept open in foggy weather through the use of the petrol- burning FIDO (Fog Investagation and Dispersals Operation) system which dissipated fog by increasing air temperature adjacent to the runway. Approximately 10,000 aircrew were saved by being able to divert to FIDO-equipped airfields. FIDO is too expensive and unecessary to be resurrected because there is a cheaper, more efficient alternative available.

I'm not suggesting towing old jet aircraft up and down to melt the snow either.

My suggestion is to combine geothermal/groundsource heatpump and underfloor heating technology. Use the large areas of flat grassland around the runways that all airfields have to bury water-filled coils to extract the heat from the ground, the temperature of which stays pretty constant throughout the year, pump it through a heat exchanger and you have warm water to heat the runways directly or a source of energy to generate electrical power. Any summer surplus can be sold to the grid.

Much cheaper and environmentally-friendly than ridiculous wind-turbines. Action this day Christopher Paul-Huhne.

Friday, 12 November 2010

Kristallnacht 2010?

How convenient for the BBC and the rest of the sleb-focussed media to miss the anniversary parallel between the National Socialists' Kristallnacht of 9-10 November 1938 and the International Socialists' "Demo-Lition" of much of 30 Millbank on 10 November 2010 using a protest march against increases in university fees as cover. Journos normally love anniversaries to hook a story onto and fill up the allocated space. If the march had been non-political or rightwing inspired, you can bet Al-Beeb would have broacast even the most tenuous links to violence (eg, hunt employee attacked police trucheon repeatedly) wall-to-wall - it's in its charter ( er, no it's not, it's meant to be impartia-hahah-al). Both attacks were undertaken by extreme leftwing militant groups. There the similarity ends because the extent of damage was thankfully on a vastly smaller scale and by good fortune alone the rioters killed nobody in London.
Remember how Boris Johnson's remark that he would not stand for "Kosovo-style social cleansing" in London on his watch was immediately latched onto by the sinistocracy as evidence of how nasty the Tories were for not wanting to spend more than £24,000 per year on rent for benefit claimants? - The Coalition needs to borrow that money to waste on international aid, renewable energy subsidies and the midden that is the EU. Boris claimed that that phrase was taken out of context - I assume he meant that as it was bracketed by the usual bollocks nothing he said ought to be taken seriously. As an aside, if the student denstrators had dressed in Bullingdon Club kit, would a call to the Commisioner from Pater to settle the repair bill have got the rozzers off their coat-tails? How ironic that a man with a far, far better mind than Bojo or Dave was never allowed to explain away his quote from lines 86-87 of Virgil's Aneid. Translation here for those whose memory fails them.

Thursday, 21 October 2010

Bill Clinton Lost Vital Nuclear Codes

According to The Daily Telegraph . Would they have let him join in Armageddon anyway if he could prove he was POTUS (eg a DNA test) or would the American nuclear strike capability have been transferred to the good causes fund?

Wednesday, 20 October 2010

HMS Queen Elizabeth First Commissioning Voyage

When finances are tight an absence of aircraft is a positive advantage to an entrepreneurial-minded aircraft carrier captain.

Why Ringfence DFID? Scrap It Instead

Foreign Aid only encourages the recipients to travel upstream whence the magic free money comes. Let's spend our money on ourselves.

The 2010 Strategic Defence & Security Review

"If you knows a better 'ole, go to it."

Aircraft Carriers? We Don't Need Them!

Ladies and gentlemen, the Saunders-Roe SRA/1 jet seaplane fighter. Takes off and lands on the sea. Or the Convair F2Y Sea Dart. That was supersonic. It looked like this:

Or the BAe Skyhook (with thanks and acknowledgement to www. secretprojects.co.uk) or the Brodie Landing System that enabled light aircraft to take off and land on the side of suitably equipped tank landing craft.
But my choice is the aptly named CAM ships that were a desperate measure to provide air cover to convoys out of range of land-based aircraft and without escort carriers. Take a freighter, weld on a rocket catapult launcher, add a volunteer fighter pilot and an obsolescent Hurricane Mk Ia and you had a one shot chance to shoot down or scare awaya marauding Focke-Wulf Condor or Ju-88 threatening the convoy. Amazingly, despite the Hurricat's (as they were dubbed) poor ditching chacteristics (sank rapidly nose first as sea gushed into belly radiator) more enemy aircraft were shot down than pilots were killed. Fortunately, the CAM and CAS ships were soon replaced by escort carriers converted from feighters and tankers.

Tuesday, 19 October 2010

Things They Don't Teach In At Law School

Compare the sentences handed down (4 months suspended for 12 months, 300 hours community service, total costa and compensation of £960) to the three thugs who attacked and hospitalised a passenger on a late night train who had the temerity to ask them to quieten down with the sentence given to the infamous Coventry Cat Binner. £1,450 including costs.
I never thought of Ken Clarke as a cat fancier before but as with many things this coalition or, to use the Legal French term, bastard, government is doing or failing to reform, I have my doubts.
Unprovoked attacks on fellow passengers attempting to stop anti-social behaviour is the sort of crime that the Big Society should punish severely as a deterrent. Prisons are for thugs and thieving politicians.

Saturday, 28 August 2010

MP Comes Out

In an emotional pay-per-view statement this afternoon, Conservative/LibDem/Labour MP Crispy Duck revealed that he was leaving his partner of twenty years after admitting that he preferred money. "I love money, the folding stuff, the coins, even the numbers on my bank statement and I feel I should be more honest with myself. What I earn goes further if I don't have to share it. " He claimed that there was no third party involved, yet Duck has already updated his website with a Paypal donation button. Parliamentary friends on all sides have dismissed critics of Duck as greedybastardphobic and hope that he will be soon able to log back onto the IPSA expenses portal.

Monday, 23 August 2010

Mail on Sunday Doesn't Know Hurricanes From Spitfires

The Mail on Sunday took great pleasure at the BBC's mistake of posting a photo of Bell Airacobras in RAF markings instead of Supermarine Spitfires as part of its Battle of Britain 70th Anniversary stand or whatever the term is.
Unfortunately, the Mail on Sunday included this photo in its online version:

Anybody can see that there are a pair of Hurricanes, a Piper Aztec and a pair of Spitfires.
So that's the Mail on Sunday as well as the Times that can't caption photos (unless of celebs) properly. And they ignored three attempts to correct their gormless error. For the stupid, Spitfires had unmistakeable elliptical shaped wings. Hurricanes had the pilot sitting in a dog kennel. Doesn't any child build Airfix kits anymore?

Thursday, 19 August 2010

If Only British Petroleum Had Gone Retro

Prez Barack Obama took great pleasure resurrecting the old British part of (40% American) BP so that he could blame it for every little drop of oil added to the oil already spilled on the Gulf Coast by American oil companies (always innocent according to the nth Amendment). He was "gonna to keep his boot on British Petroleum's neck." Such an ignorant phrase and it wasn't even Mel Gibson (Bigot, Braveheart or Patriot) ranting against us.
Compare his Anglophobia with his dhimmitude displayed in his Cairo surrender speeech or the hypocritical Mosque next to the Twin Towers "Some Religions Are More Equal" speech.
If British Petroleum had renamed itself Anglo-Persian Oil Company would Shyster, Flywheel & Shyster, Attorneys at Law of Chicago still expect their legal fees to come from a $32billion ransom pot or one of $16 billion?

Thursday, 12 August 2010

A Modest Proposal

Pakistan has been flooded. Pakistan has nuclear weapons. The UN wants nuclear disarmament. Why doesn't the UN arrange a purchase of Pakistan's nuclear weapons stockpile in return for increased emergency aid from donor nations and ask the US to transport it to its reprocessing facility (as was done with some Soviet warheads)? India can then reduce its stockpile (unless it fears China as much as Pakistan) and money can be spent by Pakistan and India on their poor instead of their inferiority complexes. Simples.

Saturday, 24 July 2010

That Special Relationship Nonsense

Dave Cameron is quite right and quite wrong. He thinks we are the junior partner, the Americans know that we are their servants. The US Senate invited Jack Straw and two Scotch chaps to give evidence at a hearing, ie get a verbal pummelling, which they wisely refused. Note the attitude of our American Pardners on attending inquests etc. First rule of the American legal system is an American is always innocent if the other party ain't American.
I would like to see politicians account for their lobbying to secure the early release of convicted terrorist murderers in order to gain political and trade benefits. But would Prez Bill Clinton and the tormented soul of Ted Kennedy among many others turn up to answer questions on the 1997 Belfast Agreement and its prisoner release scheme? No, didn't think so either.
But just remember that almost as many people were killed during the Northern Irish Troubles by terrorists as died on 9 September 2001. And in which country were the Noraid collecting tins rattled?

Thursday, 22 July 2010

So That's Why They Were Called The Few

Photo creditTMWolf cc-by-sa-2.0

This is a P-40 Warhawk of the USAAC returning from a successful sortie (5 kills for this aircraft alone using only 20 rounds of ammunition) against 250 Lutwaffe Heinkel He-113s on 22 July 1940. The 20 Wings of fighters that America provided prevented Operation Seelowe after RAF aircraft had "their asses whupped."

Dave has said that in 1940 Britain was the junior party with America fighting the Nazis. While I appreciate that he may have been diplomatically, pouring oil on troubled waters to flatter our cousins across the "pond " in order to divert blame from the Jocks' release of the only person convicted of the Pan-Am Bombing* and the Great BP Gulf of Mexico Oil Leak (not the other one) which, thankfully, due to the efficacy of the newly-installed cap may actually have been the fault of American contractors, that crass statement from an Oxford PPE First would barely merit a D at GCSE.

Just like us, Americans like their myth of winning the Second World War, and in the Pacific, and Western Europe from July 1944 onwards they did indeed, In addition, America was the "Arsenal of Democracy" (and the Soviet Union) but only after bankrupting Britain by demanding cash for arms. Apprently, to get round the strict neutrality laws passed to satisfy isolationists and pro-Nazi Fenians, Lockheed Hudson patrol bombers had to be towed a short distance across the border to Canada by a horse. And how fortunate that Dave apparently knew nothing of the Tizard Mission of September 1940 that gifted America Britain's most advanced technology.

And of course Hollywood has always had Americans winning the war for, often unwilling and incompetent. Britons ever since Errol Flynn sorted things out in Burma (a big thank you from the 14th Army) and Ben Affleck taught Fighter Command to fly dirty in the Battle of Britain section of the dire Pearl Harbor ( why not Perl or Purl for consistency?)

In 1944, Chindits commanded by Brigadier Mike Calvert captured the important Burmese town of Mogaung from the Japanese. For political reasons, American General Stilwell's HQ credited the Nationalist Chinese. On hearing this, Calvert signalled that the Chindits had taken umbrage. Stilwell's staff officers scoured their maps for several hours in vain looking for somewhere called Umbrage.

So Dave, after you've given yourself and Sam a pat on the back for giving Obama a graffiti "artwork" why don't you read about the Battle of Britain on the brilliant Days of Glory blogexe?

*As the Pan-Am 747 was allegedly blown up in retaliation for the shooting down by an American Aegis-class cruiser of an Iranian airliner, it's always puzzled me why Libya picked up the murder contract when terrorism is about the only thing that just about every Middle-Eastern government can do themselves without hiring foreign contractors.

Tuesday, 20 July 2010

Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori

The memorial to the most shameful former secret of WWI at the National Memorial Arboretum

The re-interment of the last unknown one of 250 Australian and British WWI soldiers in the new CWGC cemetery at Fromelles prompted mixed emotions in me. On the one hand, the knowledge that men who died for their countries were finally being given a dignified permanent resting place, was a positive thought, and one that the establishment and even the BBC in its recently adopted mawkish Dianification* of military casualties wanted the general public to feel. To feel, mind, not to think.

Because on the other hand, I thought "A New Cemetery For A New Century", the title of the exhibition at the IWM, was a bit Powerpointy. In addition, the constant repetition that the soldiers "went over the top even though they knew they would probably be killed", even though it was true made me uneasy. They went over the top because society had trained them to obey their superiors, because military training had reinforced that, and because they knew the full force of military law would be brought down on them if they refused an order on grounds of self-preservation. Remember, the Battle of Fromelles was a diversion from the Battle of the Somme in 1916, so those British soldiers, Australia never had conscription, wouldn't except in very small numbers, have been from the pre-war Regular Army or the volunteers (the "Pals")of the first few months of the war. They would have been conscripts. The First World War actually was a major reverse in a broad historical trend of individual freedom against the state dating from habeus corpus, the rights of juries, the Bill of Rights, the expansion of the electorate, trade union legislation, etc. With the Military Service Act of January 1916, free Englishmen reverted to serfs bound to their liege lord's bidding. And with the precedent established, the State has never let go its power over individuals. National Service was scrapped merely to save money and the Government has extended its power over us in other ways. War cemeteries are a way for the State to assuage its guilt for its crass errors and attenuate the anger of the bereaved, to build another layer of military myth of the glamour and noble sacrifice of war (the power to use violence being a fiercely protected sole prerogative of the State) to maintain the supply of willing recruits, and also a statement that Your Country Owns You, Even In Death. Think of President Kennedy's "Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country." should sent a shiver down the spine of everyone.

Because, according to the Daily Mail, this is how a proud State treats its soldiers even after nine years fighting in Afghanistan. "Nothing but the best for "Our Boys", whatever they need," is the cry from the Despatch Box. Snafu is the reality. Who should we be angry with? The Politicians? The Top Brass? Or ourselves for going along with the whole bloody charade?

* Where was the BBC when soldiers' coffins were returned from Northern Ireland as cargo on scheduled airline flights?

Saturday, 17 July 2010

Top And Bottom

Side view of my happy place

Statutory Victim Lord Browne of Madingley claims that "Homophobia is rife in public life and gays are forced to hide their sexuality" in an article in today's Daily Mail.

This is the same Lord Browne who only escaped prosecution for perjury because, to quote wikipedia, "Mr Justice Eady, the presiding judge in the case, said he decided not to refer the matter to the Attorney General with regard to possible perjury charges, as disclosure in the judgement of Lord Browne's behaviour was "probably sufficient punishment"." And with one leap he was free. Richard North of EUReferendum was not amused by the noble lord, twice.

The Daily Telegraph publlished Browne's resignation statement in May 2007 when he said "For the past 41 years of my career at BP I have kept my private life separate from my business life. I have always regarded my sexuality as a personal matter, to be kept private." And then he published his memoirs in February 2010.

So are we right to assume that Browne has changed his stance on the pros and cons of having an individual's sexuality in the public domain in the meantime because he was appointed to head a government review into university tuition fees by Labour and improve Whitehall governance by The Coalition and is therefore now threatened and discriminated against by "homophobia" instead of preferring, like the vast majority of everyone of every persuasion not to continually bang on in public about their sexual preferences? Wow, He's had much harsher treatment than that dealt out to the perjurers Archer and Aitken who have been obviousy favoured by the establishment because of their overt heterosexuality. Remind me, was it duPont or BP that invented teflon? Whatever, working in oil for 41 years is bound to make someone a slippery customer.

A word in your shell-like, Your Grace. If you really want to experience a hard time at work, why not, as your first job, work for a openly homosexual boss who when asked, after the first week, how one was doing (i wanted to be a Mandarin then), replied without a hint of irony, sarcasm, or any other humour "Well, we've not had to make any adaptatations to the stairs." Nothing about the clear style and dry wit of my minutes or my blossoming administrative skills. There was I, hearing someone utterly smash my preconceptions that, a) gays were above averagely sensitive souls, and b) that possession of a congenital limp wouldn't affect the way I was treated in the Civil Service (that's what they said in the brochures). I realised then that I was wasting my time even trying there because I couldn't hide my limp in the closet. There was no privacy. And so began a downward spiral of low self-esteem, stress, stress-induced epilepsy, depression, low self esteem.

The course of my life has been a phugoid of such downs interspersed with recovering ups when I make very positive, almost aggressively so, fightbacks inspired by the example of my lifetime hero Douglas Bader. Once I have the bit between my teeth I can, I admit, be an arrogant, stubborn sod who wants to catch up with life at full rethrottle. I don't believe the world owes me a living or special treatment, just a clear few hundred yards to take off from where I'm the match of anyone. Give me that opportunity to stretch my wings and I reveal my inner semi-housetrained soft Labrador character (although dogs don't have wings of course so the simile needs a bit more polishing, but you get my drift).

However, many people feel threatened by someone struggling to ignore what they consider a disability and, perversely, blocked my attempts to gain equality on my terms. After a lifetime of rejection and isolation causing much sadness, I now don't mind having a "marmite personality" because the problem is with those people who turn their heads away in the street or assume, because I limp, I am mentally handicapped. How many sportspeople with gold medals and MBEs can regularly do the Times, Telegraph or Guardian crosswords in fifteen minutes? There, that's immediately put many of you off me for boasting I'm able to do something you can't! I "ran" in a House relay on a schools sports day because nobody else could be bothered to make up the team and I've banged my head on every steel pitprop on a trip down a coal mine.

Now, on my own, I'm coming back again (with the advantages of height and sun) for another try on my terms. Thank you, but they're not yours to take or leave.

So, how very dare Baron John Browne moan about the perceived woes of rich bastards like him and David Laws caught out by society? There is a telling phrase in his memoir, Beyond Business "I just could not bring myself to tell the truth."

Self-pitying multi-millionaire chairman. Bless!

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

How To Annoy Market Research Callers

It was a trunk call

I had a telephone call this afternoon from an Indian-accented chap calling himself "David Lewis" who asked if I was Mr X as he wanted to do a short, one minute long, "Lifestyle Research" survey. I said that I charge £10 for charity to answer market research surveys and requested that his company made the donation to Help for Heroes.

"David Lewis" then said that I was a very cheap person for only asking for £10 as he would have demanded £1,000 or £2,500 and that I could have just said I wasn't interested. Let's hope the bloody nuisance gets trodden on by an elephant on his way home.

His number was 06468451876.

Gandhi and the Indian National Congress told us to "Quit India" and so we did on 15 August 1947. As far as I can tell, no part of the deal involved them following us back home or making unwanted phone calls to us.

PC David Rathband:Hero

From The Daily Mail with thanks and acknowledgement:

"Horrific picture that the shot PC wants you to see
HIS face a mask of blood, this is the heroic police officer shot at point-blank range by Raoul Moat.
The horrific photograph of PC David Rathband, 42, was taken shortly after he was gunned down while on patrol in his marked car.

Injured: PC David Rathband was shot in the face
He asked for it to be released to the public in the hope that it might help the hunt for the killer who shot him in cold blood. 'Catch the man responsible,' he told colleagues.
The PC was sitting in the driver's seat when Moat approached him from the passenger side and blasted him twice in the face and chest with a shotgun.
Despite his horrendous injuries the officer, who is married with two children, managed to radio his colleagues and raise the alarm. PC Rathband, who has been in the force for ten-andahalf years, remained in a critical but stable condition in Newcastle General Hospital last night.
The photograph, taken before he underwent surgery, shows him in intensive care, wires attached to his chest and stomach.
Surgical dressing patches a wound on his left shoulder, whilst further bandaging around his neck is clearly drenched in his blood.
His head leaning to one side, shrapnel wounds pepper his face as blood trickles down his chin and on to his chest.
PC Rathband was shot as he sat in his marked police car at the roundabout joining the A1 and the A69 at East Denton, in Newcastle, at 12.45am on Sunday.
Just 12 minutes earlier, his attacker had telephoned 999 to tell police he was going to shoot dead one of their officers.
Although the conversation lasted six minutes, Moat's position could not be traced.
PC Rathband, who has a son, Ashley, 16, and daughter, Mia, 12, with his wife Kath, was on static patrol duty when he was attacked.
Fifty minutes later, Moat called police again with the mocking message: 'Now are you taking me seriously?'
Temporary Chief Constable Sue Simm, who visited the officer in hospital yesterday, praised his 'extreme bravery'.
She said: ''Despite being seriously injured David demonstrated extreme bravery by alerting his colleagues and even managed to give fellow officers vital information about the incident which has proved invaluable.
'I have nothing but absolute admiration for David. He acted in the best traditions of the police service, showing outstanding bravery in what must have been a terrifying situation.
'At his request we are releasing a photograph of his injuries before he received treatment.' "
From the BBC with thanks and acknowledgement:
Pc David Rathband was seriously injured when he was shot in the face and chest as he was sitting in his patrol car in East Denton, near Newcastle.
Police have said the officer could lose the sight in both eyes.
[ ] Pc Rathband, a 42-year-old father of two, said: "I bear no malice towards the man who shot me, but now wish to move on with my life.

Reconstructive surgery

"My injuries are life changing. It will require significant adjustments in the future in all aspects of my life.
"I enjoy my job as a police officer and I am totally committed to serving the public.
"Although I face long-term treatment, I am determined to return to duty as a police officer."
PC Rathband has undergone facial reconstructive surgery at Newcastle General Hospital and is now off the critical list.
[ ]
Pc Rathband was shot the following day (4 July).
He said the officers who came to his aid had helped to save his life.
"I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has helped me, in particular those officers who came to my immediate aid at the scene and helped to save my life," he said.
"All the medical and nursing staff who have cared for me have been fantastic and I am indebted to them.
"I am grateful to all those officers from many forces who have helped me and my family during the last week and to my own shift of officers who have given me their full support.
"I am acutely aware of the impact events have had on many people and my thoughts are with them all, particularly the family of Chris Brown."
If, like me, you want to express your admiration of and gratitude for real heroes (though he would be the first to say he was just doing his job) like PC David Rathband please make a donation to the Police Dependants' Trust. Or, more directly:
"Anyone who wishes to send goodwill messages, cards and donations to PC David Rathband is asked to send these to the Northumbria Police Federation using the below contact details:
F.A.O PC David Rathband
11-14 Apex Business Village
NE23 7BF
Telephone: 01661 863490 Fax: 0191 250 2961
Website: http://www.norpolfeddotorgdotuk/" (To prevent spamming I've replaced . with dot ).
I wish PC Rathband and and his family a speedy recovery from his injuries and a happy future.

New Afghanistan Strategy?

Update the Gallipoli plans, hire an illusionist and set dressers, leave the lights and radio on, don't cancel the papers. Give the impression that nothing has changed.
* A French WWI "Quaker Cannon" made from paper.

Monday, 12 July 2010

Gordon Brown Portrait

Apparently, the House of Commons Shredding and Pissing Away Money Committee or something like it wanted a portrait of alleged former Prime Minister Gordon "Bonar Law" Brown. He refused, presumably for the same reason that bank robbers wear stockings on their heads. At least he won't need plastic surgery to complete the Witless Protection Scheme change of identity that he was granted in return for surrendering peacefully after the five day siege in 10 Downing Street following the recent election and appointment of LibDems to government.

Here's two pictures of our beloved leader that I did myself. I can't claim to be a proper artist because I haven't been paid for it with other people's money. I describe my style as mainstream talentless derivatism. Notice the absence of draughtmanship and any appreciation of colour and shadow.

Thursday, 8 July 2010

Carbon Dioxide Is Good For You

You don't have to be a tree or a carbon trader to benefit from carbon dioxide. Apparently, an injection of CO2 under the skin "melts" away fat. There was I, thinking that we were all going to "roast to death" *because of CO2 and it now transpires that we will roast to death thin.

*according to the consensus of scientific opinion and shareholders in carbon-offset/renewable energy companies. Ironically, whitewash, a paint widely used for covering up stains, is a chemical reaction between calcium hydroxide (slaked lime) and carbon dioxide in the air.

Tuesday, 6 July 2010

Sunday, 4 July 2010

MPs Prepare For 40% Salary Cuts

Sources close to Westminster claim that a cross-Party group of MPs will press next week for an across-the-board reduction of 40% of their entire remuneration package. The cuts in salary, allowances and office costs would take MPs below the 40% income tax band for the first time since 1935. One of the group said "In times of national emergency, when we are all in the same boat as our constituents, it is only fair that even MPs bear some of the pain necessary to restore national finances to an even keel. It's not as if we are facing redundancies."

A closer source stated "Ha, right, I'll get back to you on that one, my taxi's waiting. Ha!"

Saturday, 3 July 2010

Sleeping Agent Claim Neither Confirmed Nor Denied

In the wake of the unmasking of the alleged Russian spy ring (it ought to have a name) in America, I contacted You Know What to reassure myself that the 44th US President didn't have a second job. I haven't received a reply yet but I'll keep you in the picture. (Usual place: St Giles Church notice board. If I've left a message in the agreed place there will be three drawing pins in the top left hand corner of the board). Isn't tradecraft fun? Would they actually tell me the truth? Where's George Smiley when you need him?

Wednesday, 30 June 2010

Why Didn't The BBC Lead With This Item?

On Monday (an order banning publication has now been lifted) at Swansea Crown Court Sarfraz Ibrahim apleaded guilty to corruption, attempting to pervert the course of justice and misconduct in public office. He is the head of the advocacy unit at the Gwent CPS in South Wales and accepted a share of a £20,000 bribe to drop a case.

This brings the entire justice system into disrepute. It may just be one bad apple but the whole barrel is tainted. If there is one corrupt person at such a senior level then the whole system is weakened. Every case that Ibrahim handled will have to be checked for impropriety. His colleagues and associates will come under suspicion. People who had cases dropped against them may be wrongly slurred by the possibility of corruption. If there is one thing that the administration of justice, on which civil society rests, requires it is absolute honesty and impartiality. That is why Justice is blindfolded.
So how does the BBC report this earthquaking news? Not on the front page of its news website
but instead relegated to item 3 on its Wales page.
It's as if the BBC wanted to tuck it away from its viewers. Why?
Update 14 July: the scum got four and a half years or as short as two years and a quarter in prison assuming he wasn't remanded in custody.

Wednesday, 23 June 2010

Bring Our Brave Boys Home From South Africa

Ninety-two weeks into the World Cup competition, our brave and highly trained Ingerland soccer players have endured high-altitude and hot temperatures and suffered countless painful injuries. Despite the World Cup being vital to our national interests, no additional spending has been authorised by either the FA or the British government to counter the deadly vuvuleza horn or the lethal jabulane footerball designed to render only Ingerlish footballers incapable of playing above Sunday Pub League standard. Moreover, the cunning FIFA rules mean that Ingerlish players are unable to use the tactics that makes the Ingerlish Premier League Division One the best in the world for footer fans: instead of being in a team with eight or nine other foreign players, our highly skilled Italian coach has to pick eleven (!) Ingerlish players for the Ingerlish side. No foreigners are allowed! And the say that football kicks out racism. Amazingly, "Fabulous" Fabio as he was called until our world beating players arrived in South Africa, is criticized for not publishing the list of players until two hours before kick-off. Given the resources, I would be stick sucking my pencil after the extra time whistle blew.

Bring Our Brave Boys Home From South Africa!

Tuesday, 22 June 2010

American Oil Spill

Update 25 June 2010: re Bhopal, it would appear Obuma's vitriolic attacks against BP has roused Indian public opinion against Union Carbide . I wonder if America will allow a level playing field?

Is Afghanistan The Best Place To Fight?

My Grandad fought at Monte Cassino. Both sides fought stubbornly and incredibly bravely at great cost in lives. The Monastery was nearly flattened by Allied bombers. I say nearly because it was turned into a network of foxholes, ratruns and cellars that helped the fanatical German Paras defending it. And yet, as cogently argued by Professor Richard Holmes, the battle was unnecessary. Especially after breakout from the Anzio landings Monte Cassino could have been prudently ignored. The Battle of Hurtgen Forest was another unnecessary battle. Fought between September 1944 and February 1945 on the Belgo-German border it claimed tens of thousands of American and German casualties and in the mini-series Band of Brothers its sustained futile nastiness was the shell-burst among the trees that eviscerated the camel and broke the spirit of many of Easy Company's veterans. Equally. the Battle of Berlin nearly brought Bomber Command to its knees with unsustainable losses that were only reduced by a change in strategy to the pre D-Day bombing of the transportation network and oil refineries.

My point is that, as Sun Tzu wrote 2,500 years ago, and I paraphrase, it is always better to seek battle at a time and place of one's choosing. The wise chap also said that it's better to avoid battle altogether if possible. Something that the Duke of Wellington and those awkward third world amateur generals who beat modern western armies understood.

So why are Coalition forces engaged in fighting a war in Afghanistan against an enemy who won't stand still long enough in one place in large enough numbers for a set piece all-arms engagement to achieve a decisive victory?

The Taliban or local tribal fighters have no territorial claims against any western nation, although a bit of border tidying outstanding since independence was granted to India and Pakistan in 1947 would enable the Pathans to be united and save Pakistan a lot of internal strife in pacifying its western tribal areas where the writ of Islamabad is tenuous and temporary.

Al Quaeda can easily move its bases anywhere in the Middle East, North Africa, South East Asia where there is a large muslim population and poor government (the two tend to exist together).
What is to stop Venezuela becoming a terrorist haven as a means of attacking the USA?

Another reason given for Britain having 10,000 troops in Afghanistan is the destruction of the opium crop. If I was a poor Afghan farmer living in poverty, I would definitely grow poppies in preference to wheat, apricots and pomegranates. Western heroin addicts are the West's problem. However, it treats addicts as victims whereas the Afghan farmers have their crops destroyed and are then ordered to grow something much less profitable. The problem is not down to the suppliers, despicable as they are, but with the consumers of the drugs. It would be easier to reduce demand by vigorously tackling the drug addition problem in this country. How much extra expenditure than is spent in Afghanistan would be needed to wean addicts off their drugs and keep them clean?

Another argument for fighting in Afghanistan is to bring equal rights to women, educate children and improve healthcare. There are swathes of the Third World that require such reforms. Afghanistan is no different. Think how unequal, how illiberal, how brutish, nasty and short were the lives of ordinary people in the West until a hundred and fifty, or a hundred years or even more recently in some parts of London. Yet the development was not imposed from outside, it was grown in fits and starts and some dead ends from within. Because of that gradualism, people accepted it and felt a sense of ownership so that our veneer of civilisation became habitual and part of the furniture. What right have the Mrs Jellybys of the West, for all their good intentions, got to expect that the off the shelf, flatpack 21st century will be accepted with open arms by people living what is a very dangerous medieval lifestyle? Wouldn't it be more realistic and sensible to identify the points of similarity between our very different cultures, use those to develop understanding and leave the Afghans and indeed the rest of the world to sort out the awkward bits by themselves in their own time? After all, only an idiot expects everybody to celebrate Christmas in an identical fashion. So long as there's presents, telly and turkey the order and respective amounts are unimportant.

So back to the question of why the Coalition fights in Afghanistan when it is a foreign country that is not vital for the protection of our people and property, that offers geographical advantages to the guerrilla fighter, that extends the lines of supply so that every soldier costs £250,000 per year to feed and equip when a Taliban fighter would be rich if he earned £1,000 per year, and where the population is at best ambivalent towards the government and the Coalition. In the words of the First World War song, "We're here because we're here, because we're here." The very successful campaign of 2001 removed the Taliban and Al-Qaeda and left a power vacuum. Unfortunately, instead of just tidying up the worst of the damage and leaving smartly with the warning not to make us return, it was considered desirable and possible that a new country could be grown out of the wreckage of thirty years of war and zip all, with the exception of some thirties vintage Hawker Harts, modern civilization outside the big cities. Nearly nine years down the line we have, metaphorically, advanced back to Mons just like the BEF in WWI and called it a victory. We may be winning but are the Taliban losing?

My proposals are that Coalition Forces withdraw from Afghanistan as soon as possible to enable the Afghans to sort out their affairs again and a UN Border Commission is established to resolve the outstanding border problems of Afghanistan/Pakistan and Pakistan/India that were swept under the carpet in 1947. Nato and other Coalition forces need a period of time, call it a hudna for want of a better word, to rest, learn lessons and reequip where required and in the meantime the foreign ministries of all western nations must adopt the Arab technique of taqiyya in all dealings with the islamic world as a matter of professional courtesy.

I will discuss equipment and strategy in a later post.

Defence: A Modest Proposal

David Cameron exhorts us to get behind our troops and support the war in Afghanistan. Just like Gordon Brown. It is a nearly universally held belief that the MoD is overstaffed and bad but the armed services are like nurses with guns: they can do no wrong and nothing is too good for them.
May I suggest that our armed forces are not perfect and spending more money on them without clearly specifying targets to achieve is wasteful of the nation's limited resources at any time and especially so now when the National Debt is £900 billion and rising.
Instead of viewing Defence as A Good Thing in its own right, the radical Tory should regard Defence as a means of protection for the United Kingdom and its international trade. The three most important areas of government business are foreign affairs, homeland security and industry and energy policy. The other departments support this Triad. The Treasury is a means of efficiently raising and distributing the money needed to operate government. Just as in an ideal world there would be no need for the Police to protect, deter, detect and prosecute to allow law abiding folk to go about their lawful business, in a similar Utopia there would be no need for armed forces. It is clear that there are states or quasi-states that threaten the physical safety and interests of the United Kingdom. I propose a system whereby every five years the Triad define the threats facing our country and, if they are unable to ameliorate them with in-house resources, ie diplomacy, foreign aid, policing of aliens, trade agreements etc, they should request the MoD to submit a tender for the military means to counter the defined threats. The MoD could also add other threats it had identified for consideration by the Triad for inclusion in the defence package. The package would then be presented by the Triad to the Treasury to assess its affordability. Each part of the bid would be benchmarked to ensure best value for money and effectiveness. If the Treasury considered that the tender was too dear, the Triad could either fund the deficit from its own resources or argue the case for more expenditure or renegotiate the defence package with the MoD. The Defence Budget would then be submitted to Parliament for its approval.

Sunday, 20 June 2010

Health & Safety - Buncefield

It's a cliche that Health & Safety has mental health problems and that things would be so much easier and more sensible if it was ignored and people allowed to get on with their jobs and lives. I bet nobody living near or working at the Buncefield Oil Depot holds that opinion.
Sometimes there are very good reasons for introducing apparently inconvenient working practices. It is better to be thirty minutes late in this life than thirty years early in the next.

Friday, 18 June 2010

Foolproof Lawn Care

Before. Note the carefully selected mix of grasses, weeds and moss.
I've spent the last two days applying Evergreen Complete 4 in 1 to the lawns of Gallimaufry Towers. I can honestly say that application was as easy as walking up and down the lawn holding a plastic box by its handle. Refilling the spreader with Evergreen from the refill bag was easy, just read the instructions and take care. I watered the Evergreen in with a hose straight after application as rain wasn't forecast and by this morning large patches of moss had turned black. I'll rake that out in a fortnight's time. Next thing to look out for is the broadleaved weeds like dandelions, buttercups and clover growing beyond their energy in the weeks ahead. I'll give any stubborn survivors a stop treatment of Verdone. Then it's a matter of encouraging the grass to fill in the gaps so I might selectively reseed. Whatever happens, I'll increase the mower height.

After two days the moss has turned black and died. The weeds already appear to be growing vigorously.

Photos will be uploaded progressively. I bought the Evergreen Complete from Amazon and Wilkinsons but and good DIY/garden centre should stock it.

Mona By Name Moaner By Nature

This morning's Thought For The Day slot on Radio 4's Today programme was filled by Professor Mona Siddiqui of Glasgow University Islamic. It's not fair that muslims are picked out for anti-terrorist checks at airports, but then it's not fair that anybody is. Without a trace of irony she criticised the postponed CCTV in certain Birmingham districts, saying "But rightly or wrongly a sense of belonging can take years to build and only seconds to destroy. " Yes, in the time it took to detonate rucksack bombs on the bus and tube in 2005. As an academic, I would have thought that Professor Siddiqui would have appreciated that Bayesian Search Theory the is an excellent method of finding something. If I drop my keys off the side of a boat mid ocean, I might know precisely where they are but the chances of me locating and retrieving them would be close to nil. But political correctness (wherever that is found in the Koran or Hadith) states that everybody is equally likely to smuggle bombs or weapons. And of course the chaps who drove their car into the foyer of Glasgow Airport and blew themselves up operated an equal opportunities policy for their potential victims. They were reckless as to the ethnic or religious backgound of their targets. As always, Platitude Of The Day cuts through the nonsense brilliantly.
Why can't Today have some common sense for a change?

Saturday, 12 June 2010

Is This Why Obama Is Buck Shifting And Nagging BP?

Apparently the US Navy has mislaid/ is temporarily unsure of the exact whereabouts of four underwater target drones. So there's no chance of them sorting the oil spill problem out in the Gulf of Mexico. Unlike in all the Hollywood disaster films there isn't a secret US facility paid for with "black budget" money where a group of mavericks have built a super vehicle from a titanium-kevlar composite that will save the day for Apple Pie. There's nobody chomping (ruining) a cigar and "kicking ass" or being cruel to donkeys as English speakers say. No, the biggest superpower has to rely on ordinary American oil workers headquartered in Houston (BP America) to do at 5,000 ft underwater what oil workers struggled to do at 150 ft thirty one years ago when the Ixtoc 1 rig toppled over. That was eventually capped and sorted and the polllution cleaned up. The problem this time may be that American fishing boats may have over-exploited the fish stocks and thereby prevented nature repairing itself. But there aren't many votes pointing that out. Here's a bit of leadership Obama: tell Americans to drive smaller cars that use less petrol. Simples.

Tuesday, 8 June 2010

And You Wouldn't Be Working For Me Either Barack Old Fruit.

Lovable Barack Obama is angry that BP hasn't tidied up its mess as quickly as he could have done. He reckons, in his American donkey-bottom fixated way that the CEO of BP isn't up to the job. Let's put to one side for a moment the facts that the manufacturer of the blowout preventer and the owner of the oil rig that BP leased are American.
Remind me, POTUS, C-in-C of the world's only hyperpower, what you have done since you were sworn in (and you bollocked that up) eighteen months ago? Oh yes, you made a surrender speech to muslims in Cairo and in return for that a Nigerian blew his balls off on an American airliner and a US Army psychiatrist murdered 13 people on an army base. Iran and North Korea are even more dangerous. Well worth the No Balls Peace Prize you were given after five minutes in the job. Will the committe want it back after reading about this Amnesty report on Yemen? I'll admit that catching that fly was pretty clever.
In short, you have squandered your opportunity as President and have sought to spread the blame on other people to save your own skin. Not very impressive.
I would sack you straight away but with your American legal training behind you I would be tied up at a tribunal and forced to pay you £thousands in damages for wrongful dismissal, hurt feelings, discrimination and Uncle Tom Cobleigh and all. So, I'd probably give you a flash title, an ofice and appoint you to carry out a meaningless time-consuming project to keep you out of harm's way. Like the American voters did.

Monday, 7 June 2010

How Very Dare They

I was rather surprised to read in today's Mail on Sunday that the Prime Minister intended to appoint John Browne, aka Lord Browne of Madingley, as a "Super-Director" to oversee expenditure cuts and bring in private sector methods to the public sector to save £billions. That's this Lord Browne. The same chap who was excused a perjury trial for lying about how he met his former boyfriend. The trial Judge, Mr Justice Eady said "I am not prepared to make allowances for a 'white lie' told to the court in circumstances such as these - especially by a man who prays in aid of his reputation and distinction, and refers to the various honours he has received under the present government, when asking the court to prefer his account of what took place." The matter was not referred to the Attorney General, in contrast to the Archer and Aitken perjury cases and subsequent spells in chokey, cases because disclosure was "probably sufficient punishment". The disclosure that a life peer lied under oath was not sufficient to prevent the noble lord 's appointment as head of a government committee into university tuition fees by the equally honourable Lord Mandlevort.
Which leads one to ask if there is one law for us and other laws for them. If you were to ask me my opininion I would have to say that Lord Browne is an extremely capable person of impeachable honesty and integrity. I learned that from reading about Lord Browne.

Sunday, 30 May 2010

Cabinet Change Changes Nothing In Politics

Whoever one votes for the government always wins.

Pink Pounds Talk In Malawi

The Malawian President has pardoned Mrs Dale's martyrs. Looks like the international aid is safe now.
Can he do anything for poor little David Laws? The seven hundred odd civil servants in Coventry working for Becta and QCDA who learned this week that their quangos were closing. They also did their jobs well* but didn't claim for expenses to which they weren't entitled. But they received no sympathy from the self-absorbed ranks of the LibDems and professional gays. Hypocritical? Of course, but they aren't those saints who give their lives in public service (not "Our Boys" who aren't given appropriate kit and training to protect life and limb) our wonderful MPs.

Breaking News- Government Minister Underclaimed Expenses

Sorry, typo error on the spreadsheet. It should have been a plus sign instead of a minus. All Sheeple return to paying tax now.

Tuesday, 11 May 2010

Why It's Better To Cut Now Rather Than Later

Nulab and Libdem like the idea of a gentle cut in government borrowing as it's fluffier and kinder and will give those nice banker more interest payments for longer. Play around with this tool, originally designed for credit cards*, created by the Daily Telegraph, and see that a short, sharp cut saves money.

*credit cards are an extremely inefficient way to borrow but are widely misused by the same people who vote sinisterly. When they discover they can't afford the repayments, it's not their fault because they couldn't be expected to understand the way credit cards work.

Monday, 10 May 2010

Message To Politicians

My vote is just as important as yours. I voted Conservative but wanted UKIP policies as well. (Wouldn't that have got a majority without this coalition nonsense?) I didn't vote LibDem as I believe they are just as bad as Nulabour but went to better schools.
Just get rid of the Scotch Squatter and his rabble of losers now. Retake 10 Downing Street for democracy and England.

Saturday, 8 May 2010

A few Election Thoughts

1. A great shame that the Conservatives didn't get a majority but they are partly to blame because of their refusal to ally with UKIP (their votes wouldn't have gone anywhere else) and offer a referendum on the Lisbon Constitution.
2. The Victorian Boundary Commission using 2001 data to set constituency boundaries helped Labour MPs get elected with fewer votes in smaller constituencies.
3. The uberPC Electoral Commission quango which managed, in conjunction with many incompetent Returning Officers, to turn the election for many people in large cities into a farce worthy of the third world. For fusk's cakes, don't they teach contingency planning anymore? A general election is one of those occasions where a bit of waste (too many ballot papers, too many polling stations or polling staff) can be justified. where diversity training and translation services can not.
4. The LibDems will become the institutional party of government. Any other party, if First Past The Post is scrapped will have to get into political bed with them. The third most popular party will end up on top for ever. Any political wonk who wants a job for life will join the LibDems, secure in the knowledge that they will be guaranteed a government or quango job.
5. Proportional Representation will divorce the public from their MP whose loyalty will shift to their party bosses as their job will depend on their place on the party list. Mmmm... Continental machine politics and corruption. The alternative voting methods will favour vanilla, or least disliked candidates who offer the most for the least required. And, as manifestos are not actionable in law, you will not get what you want or expect.
6. Coalition government means that the one person with a vote to decide the government is now Nicholas Clegg whom over 25 million people didn't vote for. That's fair. Not.
7. Think back over the election campaign or futher if you wish and recall all the things the LibDems said about the Tories and vice-versa. And yet they hope to convince themselves and us that they can work together for the good of the country.
8. As nobody has yet commented on it, this country is engaged in a big war in Afghanistan. I hope our lads and lasses were able to vote.

Wednesday, 28 April 2010

International Aid For India

A dozen C-17s on exercise over America.

The UK is giving India in £825 million development aid between 2008 and 2012. None of the main parties intend to cut international development spending despite the PSBR reaching £165 billion per year. How nice that the heirs of Gandhi wish to spend £5.6 billion to buy 10 C-17 Globemaster III transport aircraft. It will keep Boeing workers in employment. Which is nice. Wouldn't it be better for the Indian government to spend more money the improve the standard of living of its world-leading population of poor people instead of trying to militarily outbling Pakistan in the region thereby destabilising a tinderbox? Or for our government to spend that money by reducing the national debt?

A poor woman in Orissa drying cowpats for cooking fuel.

Wednesday, 21 April 2010

Gliders! Or Another Ashcloud Solution

Gliders don't have engines. I've examined and discounted the practicalities of using ground-towed Airspeed Horsas for short journeys across the channel. The sink rate of 400ft/minute at 150 mph would require an impractical 12,000ft release height to give a fairly safe 75 mile range without thermal assistance.
However, given that Scottish airspace is ash free at present, why hasn't consideration been given to temporarily diverting civil airliners to RAF Lossiemouth and Kinloss with their 2km plus runways? Both bases are near to Elgin which is on the main intercity rail network. Plus, there are plenty of A roads going south for coaches to use.If something is a priority, action this day is possible.

Sir Winston Churchill, who would see the present situation as an opportunity to sack incompetent wibblers and replace them with people who get things done.

Monday, 12 April 2010

Election Arithmetic

I heard Alan Johnson being interviewed by Sophie Raworth on the news this lunchtime. He criticised the Conservatives' proposed spending and tax-raising strategy and said that Labour was the only party whose figures added up. Added up? Excuse me, but having to borrow £180 billion annually to fill the gap between tax and spending doesn't mean adding up to me. If I spent £60,000 a year and borrowed £30,000 on my credit cards to afford that standard of living, I wouldn't expect to be praised for my financial acuity, even less could I explain it away on the global recession.
And for the last time Gordon, if you rely on the global recession as an excuse for the UK recession, you must also accept the preceding global boom as the cause of the British boom. Your part in the economy has simply been to double the National Debt. Loser!

Wednesday, 7 April 2010

Peregrine Grabs Wood Pigeon

Well, we don't see this happen in our garden very often. After leaving the top half of the pigeon, the Peregrine flew off to the raspberry posts where it proceeded to clean beak and talons. Amazing!

Wednesday, 31 March 2010

Five More Years

It is already like this in the Civil Service and will spread throughout our once free society if David Cameron and the Conservatives do not get a majority. They are not perfect (unlike me) but compared to the alternatives they will slow down or even reverse the current trends. And then Britain can begin to be Great again and England shall be free.

Why Do They Still Call Themselves Honourable Members?

I was foiled in my atttempt to see the Diane Abbott primary school (c)rap* on Youtube because it is now private, ie very embarrassing to one of the Righteous. Remember, you Righteous Troughers that I am a private citizen so repeal the last 13 years of creeping Stasification. Anyway, I discovered this clip on Youtube:

Imagine if someone other than a black female socialist mother of a privately educated child had done the same to Nigel Vaz. The BBC would devote their entire news gathering budget to building a wicker man in which to cremate the "offender".

Sunday, 14 March 2010

Always Read The Instructions On The Superglue Packet

Apply soapy water to the affected area and spin until released.

Friday, 12 March 2010

Choo Choo Stupidity

168 wheels good, two wings bad. The morons who run the transport policy in this corner of Euroland (and that includes the Useless Tories and UnLibDems) have just published this abortion on toast of a high speed rail link for Scotch MPs from London to their second, third or fourth hames. One of the "benefits" of splurging £20 billion to compete with the recently upgraded (for a mere £9 billion) West Coast Mainline is that journey times from Birmingham to London in ideal conditions will be cut by 30 minutes to 49 minutes. Whoopidoo! What the fuckwits don't say is whether the last train on the new line will depart later than 11:30pm to enable Midlanders to enjoy the overpriced London Theatres without an Olympic race to Euston once the curtain falls. The funniest thing is the route section south of Coventry. Under Prescottian diktat Warwick District Council and Coventry City Council are required to build x-zillion houses. Very sensibly they plonked the new estate right on the border of Coventry and Warwickshire. Next to the proposed railway route.
Trains are a nineteenth century technology. Aircraft are more economic and more flexible. One final point: thanks to the same anti-carbon religion preached by the trainophiles, UK electricity generating capacity is decreasing and there will be a gap. Hey, let's run the new trains on electricity. Madness.

Tuesday, 9 March 2010

Compulsory Dog Insurance

It seems like a good idea. But then one realises that only law-abiding people will purchase the insurance and have their dogs chipped. The thugs who own attack dogs (often more amenable than their owners, believe me as I interviewed such people and their dogs at the JobCentre) will not buy the insurance just as they avoid car insurance, believing that the chances of being caught are minimal and in the event of being taken to Court (as a result of a host of other crimes) they would not pay the token fine. Instead, insurance premiums for the law-abiding would be hiked up to cover attacks by non-insured dogs and Dog Wardens would be instructed to target forgetful non-aggressive middle class owners on the assumption that they would pay up without a fight.
Yet another stealth tax.
My reasonable suggestion is to microchip thugs and thugesses, get proper Police on the beat monitor them closely and turn the CCTV cameras off.

Thursday, 4 March 2010

What Is The Point: Working In Britain

I read this article in today's Times with interest as I watched the "flamboyant" Evan Davis's recent programme about how immigrant workers actually don't take jobs from British unemployed workers because the latter either don't want them or are unreliable and lazy.

One Latvian, Jolnta, works 8-12 hour shifts in a freezer packing salads. She is paid the £5.80 minimum wage and sometimes is only hired three days a week. Jolnta met another Latvian:

"Iveta Suna, at Parca. She helped her to apply for housing benefits and tax credits that she didn’t realise she could claim. “In my country benefits are very low,” Jolnta says. “Here I think we can get £170 a week in benefits, plus wages.” "

I don't begrudge anyone being eligible for housing and council tax benefits and tax credits when they are earning the minimum wage. I consider it the economics of the madhouse that poor people are paid the minimum possible which is then topped up with taxpayers' money to a living wage by an expensive and cumbersome bureaucratic system in order to subsidise the profits of packing companies and private landlords.

Mandelson and the Britannia Mortage Scandal

Back in 1998/1999 Peter Mandelson, Geoffrey Robinson and Charlie Whelan all resigned as a result of this scandal. Why did they do so if no wrong had been committed? I'm not implying anything as any Labour resignation is A Good Thing in my book.

Tuesday, 23 February 2010

Don't Tell Me We Live In A Democracy

Isn't it wonderful that someone can become an MP eight years after their first attempt with fewer votes yet a higher proportion of the total vote? Three cheers for voter apathy and constituency boundaries.
The fairest solution would be a bicameral system with one chamber elected on a constituency first past the post basis and the second elected on a national proportional represention basis with party lists.
Or have a one man one vote system (it's Gordon Brown who has the only vote) like we have now. Except I'm the dictator. Where do I start?

Video of Cabinet Meeting?

I wouldn't mind if they confined their aggression to themselves.

Monday, 22 February 2010

Big Clunking Fist

On 15 November 2006 Tony Blair, speaking in the House of Commons said:
"The next election will be a flyweight versus a heavyweight. However much the right hon. Gentleman (David Cameron) may dance around the ring beforehand, at some point, he will come within the reach of a big clunking fist."
The term 'big clunking fist' was taken as a reference to Brown. I don't recall Gordon Brown disassociating himself from this comment at the time. He was hoping to replace Tony Blair as Prime Minister at the time. Possibly the then Chancellor was still very sensitive about his masculinity, after all Sue Lawley didn't ask other guests on Desert Island Discs whether they were gay, and didn't mind a bit of macho cred. Besides, he was allegedly rather upset by comments made by Peter Mandelson about him. I have no doubts about Mr Brown's preferences as he married Sarah Macaulay in 2000.
But why should the man who didn't mind being referred to as a Big Clunking Fist when it suited him suddenly tell Channel 4 that he had never hit anybody in his life? Oh yes, another report of temper tantrums and violence in the Number 10 office from Andrew Rawnsley in the Observer. It may be the straw that breaks the camel's back. (An unfortunate phrase in this context, I agree). Quite apart from the fact that Labour doesn't do honesty, least of all three months before a General Election, the comment that convinced me of the veracity of the allegations came from Lord Mandelvort:
"He said the book showed a "man who is quite emotional, who is quite passionate in what he believes and is doing ... who gets angry but chiefly with himself, who doesn't bully people".
"He said Mr Brown was "very demanding of people, he's demanding of himself... He knows what he wants to do, he does not like taking no for an answer from anyone.
"On the way yes, there is a degree of impatience about the man, but what would you like? Some sort of shrinking violet at the helm when we are going through such stormy waters?" "
We have all endured people at work who can be described like that. Sometimes we have the satisfaction of reading their obituaries and spotting telltale phrases like "didn't suffer fools gladly" or "set high standards for himself and those around him." In other words a King Canute.
Finally, after thirteen years of misgovernment (see Jeff Randall's excellent column), for someone to have the gall to say in all seriousness:
"take a second look at us and take a long, hard look at them, .... I know that Labour hasn't done everything right and I know, really I know, I'm not perfect, "
indicates that all those amateur psychological profiles of the man have at least a grain of truth in them. I hope not because he is still the Prime Minister until David Cameron and the rest of the Tories pull their fingers out and campaign Nulab into history. They must not fail.

Friday, 19 February 2010

ID Cards Are A Really Good Idea

Until someone forges them.

Global Warming: Irrefutable Proof

This photo of part of the gardens of Gallimaufry Towers in the heart of the English Midlands taken this afternoon shows that the glacier has retreated past the birdbath on the lawn. I'm giving all my money to the IPCC to enable over-population in the Third World. Isn't it odd how everyone knows about Nigerian 419 scams yet all the big British parties have signed up to carbon trading and reduction?

Tuesday, 16 February 2010

What Is Point?

Indeed. To use the phraseology of the Bangladeshi waiter at the Indian restaurant I frequented in Manchester, "What is point of £135.7m annual British Aid to Bangladesh?" Helping very poor people in an overpopulated, geographically cursed muddy-streak of an artificial, unsustainable country you might say. Well I read this today on Defence Industry Daily. How wonderful that a country with a per capita income of US $1870 spends $1billion per year on defence and is intending to buy fighter jets and maritime patrol aircraft. FFS, DFID blethers on about "climate change" being a great threat to the wretched country. What is point?