Thursday, 24 December 2009

Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year

Goodwill to All* Men and Women especially those serving in Afghanistan. Take care and come home safe and soon.
The photo is of a vase of paperwhite narcissus on our kitchen windowsill. They smell absolutely lovely. Press F6 to download the aroma. (This may not work with IE7). Every year I order prepared narcissus bulbs from J. Parkers in Manchester and every year they are wonderful. This year I'm growing both indoor and outdoor hyacinths. Can't wait for them to bloom as the scent will be amazing.
I hope you all receive what you need and share time and happiness with your loved ones in return.
By the way, global warming is back as the ice on the lawn is melting!
*with the obvious exceptions too numerous and evil to mention.

Tuesday, 22 December 2009

William Webb Ellis

I always understood that William Webb Ellis invented the game of rugby football when he caught the ball during a game of football at Rugby School and ran up the pitch with it. At my old school that would have merited a detention as quite enough ball games had already been invented and the games staff couldn't manage to learn another set of rules.
Now it appears that Gareth Thomas has actually reinvented rugby as a gaysport (and therefore right on) because he has admitted to being a gayer and because he's a homosexualist he is therefore sitting on the right hand of Barrack Obama according to organs like the BBC. Big deal. Rugby = groping men and sharing showers and baths and singing mysogynistic songs. Who ever thought that rugger buggers (as we non 1stXV types called them) were not predominantly Mandelsonian in their outlook? Certainly the "work" of the part-time solicitor and full-time cauliflower-eared rugby player who spent months on the conveyancing of a house I was selling could best be described as buggering up.
What if a female PE teacher or a male interior designer came out as heterosexual? There would not be the same frisson of interiest amongst the mediarati. Indeed, the story would be spiked. It's the same when someone famous or related to someone famous or known to a journalist announces they are converting to islam. Big news story because it's naughtily different and fills up the empty white spaces. The Gareth Thomas "story" reveals more about the narrow, juvenile minds of the mediarati than it does about the World of Sport (what a desperately, boringly sad Saturday afternoon that dire splodge of electrons was).

Seasonal Nonsense From A Religoon

A publicity-shy Anglican Vicar has suggested that unemployed people should, as a last resort, shoplift from big shops rather than little shops or mug or burgle. No mention is made of pursuing a career in politics, law or merchant banking. Ahem, surely the best place to nick from is churches with lead roofs, communion plate and collection boxes for postcard and guide moneys ( as an atheist I enjoy church architecture as I appreciate the skill and hard work that went into building the hangars of hope). Remember, all religions are extremely well acquainted with making their businesses as tax efficient as possible, have charitable status and sizeable property holdings. Besides, to hide their vast wealth, religions are big on helping poor people. And why not spend Christmas, or indeed the rest of the year, in the spare room at the vicarage of Father Tim Jones of St Lawrence with St Nicholas in York.

Vera Baird Non News Item

The Daily Mail has been chasing a story about how the genial, popular Solicitor General vera Baird QC MP reacted to a little person when her dog shat on a station platform. Big deal. The real story is how NuLabor has shat on my country every day since May 1 1997 and rubbed my nose in it. To the scaffold with all of them. And if Dave doesn't pass an Act repealing all Nulab legislation on the first day of the new parliament the scaffold's trapdoor will need to be oiled and tested to encourage the new boys and girls.

Another Nail In Blair's Coffin

During a no-holds-barred forensic interrogation from Fern Britton our beloved ex-Premier (misunderstood by the very people who should be naming their firstborn Anthony Charles Lynton in respectful gratitude for His gifts) admitted that he would have had the Armed Forces turn up for Iraq War 2 just to depose a very nasty Arab leader (not that tame chap in Egypt, or those nasty ones in Syria or Libya) even if the WMD didn't exist (that's why he's so keen on faith: every time someone said their were no weapons Nuclear, Chemical or Biological a warhead expires). Big deal. We all knew that already.
However, genial Arran-wearing, pipe-smoking "Gerry" Adams has recently been forced to admit that he knew his brother sexually-abused his neice over a long period and his republican gangster father had similarly perverted appetites. Now, Special Branch and MI5 were especially effective in Northern Ireland during Operation Banner and I doubt very much that they were unaware of such dangerous information (certainly people were murdered by terrorists for knowing or appearing to know much less). Which raises the question, did Tony Blair shake hands with someone he knew had who helped cover up child abuse (like the Irish Bishops) in order to build a political Potemkin Village in the Province? TB is a very religious chap, certain of His Goodness so he would not have doubted for a moment that what he did was wrong. Besides, His conversion was accompanied with confession that absolved Him of any sins (just as the kiddy-fiddling priests did for each other, no doubt). But the whole affair stinks of hypocrisy and realpolitik.

Saturday, 12 December 2009


After watching Barrack Obama collect his Nobel Peace Prize and make his usual pompous, echoing speech (he sounds as though he is practicing in the bath), I decided that a soupcon of mischief was in order. Let's get the sausage awarded the 2010 prize for his efforts from February 2009 onwards. So I went to the Nobel Prize website and... discovered that little people like me couldn't nominate anyone.