Wednesday, 23 September 2009

Fourth Trident Sub To Be Sold To Iran?


Close sources today speculated that the fourth Vanguard class Trident nuclear deterrent submarine will be decommissioned and sold to a Middle East based company for conversion into a floating hotel. Prime Minister Gordon Broon stated that the move was not due to the MoD's inability to pay the crew's wages but a bold step to encourage Iran, Pakistan, India and North Korea to abandon their nuclear programs. Citing the £17.50 sale price as a major contribution to investment in middle-class people working hard during the global recession, McBroon refused to comment directly when asked if the deal had been brokered by TB Peace Industries Inc, which announced £1.5 billion annual profits today. Defence sources stated that the sale price could have been as low as £10 if work to remove the missile silos and associated electronics was carried out in the UK.
Iranian President Madmaninadinajaqet stated that the submarine would help the tourism industry in Abadan. President Sarkozy made the following comment "Ha-Ha" and Sr Barroso of the EU proposed that the UK's UN Security Council seat could be transferred to the EU in return for an increase in UK budget contributions.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wouldn't this constitute a technical or administrative breach of the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty?

Gallimaufry said...

Indeed, but for a first offence like this the civil penalty would be £5,000.

James Higham said...

to a Middle East based company for conversion into a floating hotel.

... or missile launcher.

Gallimaufry said...

Very clever, Mr Bond. Before I have you killed I will explain the rest of my cunning plan for world domination. Hahahahaha!

Thud said...

Sadly I wouldn't put it past them.

Gallimaufry said...

Indeed. I was worried after reading
Iran has second enrichment facility . Unfortunately, allowing terrorist states to go nuclear isn't as important as seeing a Labour luvvie squirm on the media hook to the press and telly news. IMHO she simply mucked up an over-complicated bit of paperwork that ought to be done by the Border Agency.