Thursday, 30 April 2009


After all, Our Beloved Leader is the only person able to save the world.

Wednesday, 29 April 2009

One Scenario For The Home Office To Consider

Imagine a plush villa in suburban Islamabad and the satellite tv is showing all the news reports about swine flu. Naturally, Osama thinks "why don't I get a few dozen longhaul tickets cheap from the bucket shop in town and send some trainee martyrs for a week's holiday in Mexico and then onwards to anywhere in the west?" There's no need for the logistical problem of smuggling explosives and weapons through airport security and the lads only have to go to cinemas, museums, shopping malls, football grounds, hospitals etc and refrain from stopping their sneezes with hankies and tissues. Just imagine the disruption that could be caused.
I hope this scenario has been identified in the COBRA talks and that the Border and Immigration Agency is back-checking incoming passenger manifests against the original departure airports.

Monday, 27 April 2009

Aircraft Recognition

Two clues: neither aircraft is a Catalina nor a Burnelli.

Here's another clue:

Friday, 24 April 2009

Nulab Prefers People Who Hate Britain

The anti-patriotic perfidious bastards who cloak themselves in the flag when they see electoral advantage have today committed an outrageous act of treachery against our loyal Gurkha friends. Using the most weasely, narrow-minded interpretation of the law, Woollas and Brown have decided to allow a maximum of 4,300 Gurkhas and their families to live in the UK. It's more likely to be about 100. Here's the BBC report.
What annoys me is the fact that Nulabour hands out an annual jizya of £70 million for preventing extremism yet refuses to honour a covenant of honour to very proud, loyal and brave people with a tradition of serving Britain since 1816.
Please take a look at the Gurkha Justice Campaign website. Anyone who gets on the wrong side of the Brigade of Gurkhas and Joanna Lumley had better be a bloody good runner.

* little only in stature but giants in every other respect.

Update thanks to Iain Dale: the Brown Woollas betrayal has been defeated by 60 votes in a division in the House of Commons. Ayo Gurkhali!

I'll Make It £200

click to enlarge

Do the BBC employ subeditors?

Update 10:15pm the Beeb has added an m.

Thursday, 23 April 2009

Cynical Scotch Colonialist Overlords.

The colonial government suddenly realises that English people are getting increasingly annoyed by their position at the bottom of the pile - things must be bleeding obvious when dim Harriet gets the picture. So, with the zeal of the converted hypocrit, NuLiebore wraps itself in the flag it chose to ignore and despise until the opinion polls sent it a wake-up call.

But how thumpingly inept to encourage English people to celebrate their saint's feast day in a diverse, culturally inclusive day by increasing the price of a pint of beer the very same day. I realise that Alaistair needs to find every penny to pay for his predecessor's mistakes but come on and get someone English to work in the No 10 spin sewage works.

I will celebrate St George's Day in the traditional English manner: tomorrow I will think "yesterday was St George's Day and Shakespeare's birthday, oh well". The fact is that England is always best thank you very much and we do not need a special day to massage a cultural inferiority complex with cod displays of pygmy nationalism and celtic alcoholism.

Sunday, 19 April 2009

Contrasting Styles Of Policing Demonstrations



The traitors in Luton were protected by the Police because it is HM Government policy to appease our enemies. The demonstrators in London were a threat to HM Government's stage- managing of the £50 million G20 non-event (ie attempt to decrease Gordo's unpopularity).

I grew up with a Ladybird book, Dixon of Dock Green, Juliet Bravo hard-wired instinctive trust of and respect for our Police. I want to keep that respect because without an impartial Police force to uphold the law life at all levels would be rendered near impossible. But the corrosive effects of political correctness and social liberalism working in common purpose has brought policing to the stage where ambitious coppers seek to please politicians instead of serving the public good. Yes, defining that term "public good" is like stapling jelly to the ceiling, but ordinary English people have an inbuilt idea of what it isn't. Recent events in public life clearly demonstrate that radical reform of all our publicly funded bodies is required urgently. And don't think that the equally corrupt practices employed in the private sector can escape criticism and change.
We must give this government the biggest wake-up call at the forthcoming elections, a landslide defeat that even the most Stakhanovite ballot stuffer or shredder cannot alter. And then we must write to our MPs and prospective parliamentary candidates and tell them in surgeries and public meetings that we will not put up with their wishy-washy let's be nice policies but demand, on pain of voting for the nasty parties, that a complete radical excision of the Nulabour cancer is performed within one parliament. Simultaneously, the interests of England and English people must be made paramount; why, our unlected PM and many of his junta pledged the same for Scotland when they signed the Claim of Right. The United Kingdom Parliament (minus the Labour puppets in the Lords) will become the de-facto English Parliament by force of numbers. MPs from outside England will still contribute their wisdom and knowledge to debates and committees but will, out of courtesy, refrain from voting on English-only legislation.

For The Home Secretary Who's Got Almost Everything (On Expenses)

The end of a ministerial career. And they're made in Scotland.

Thursday, 16 April 2009

Draper & McBride Unpersons

Minitru Bulletin 16 April 2009

Redrag doubleplusungood. Website part of plan by Cameron terrorists to overthrow GB and surrender Airstrip 1 to doubleplusungood Tories - three minute hate.
Junior Comrade Smith of the Kirkaldy Youth Pioneers has been awarded a BA in Basic Literacy from the University of Inberkley and has been assigned to the Five-A-Day Team, Khandahar.

Chocolate ration increased to 10 grammes each week to celebrate doubleplusgood employment stats. Chocolate ration has been increased from 20 grammes as a result of the victory of our eternal allies the Somali Pirates.
Victory gin ration increased to 100ml to celebrate doubleplusgood landslide victory of Ingsoc in June 2010 General Election. Block Wardens exceeeded the target to recycle postal votes within 24 hours of counting to demonstrate Ingsoc commitment to environment.

New photo of GB and SB visiting heroes of Ingsoc working all hours to increase voluntary work for children to 50 hours.

Long Live GB, Long Live Ingsoc, Long Live Airstrip 1

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

The Real Smeargate: Remember?

Devolution brings so many benefits to the United Kingdom, at least to those parts outside England. Since 2003, Englishwomen have had to wait until they are 25 before they are offered cervical "smear"* tests by the English NHS. Women in Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland continue to be offered them from 20 onwards. Oddly, the NHS cervical screening programme website does not mention this. This page from the Jo's Trust website sets out the unequal state of affairs. The increase in age eligibility in England was the result of research based on statistics from all over the UK. But the non-existent English Assembly / Government did not have the delegated powers of the other nations to ignore the recommendations of the research paper and prioritise the interests of Englishwomen. Instead, like free prescriptions etc, the UK Department of Health could not justify the expenditure in England.
As a result of the recent death of Jade Goody, an expert panel will report later this year on the benefits of restoring 20 upwards testing for Englishwomen.

There is a petition to reduce the starting age to 18 in England here.

The spatula and slide technology which gave rise to the term smear (ie putting the sample on a glass microscope slide) is being replaced by a technique called liquid based cytology in which

"The sample is collected in a similar way to the conventional smear, using a special device which brushes cells from the neck of the womb. [ ] the brush, where the cells are lodged, is broken off into a small glass vial containing preservative fluid, or rinsed directly into the preservative fluid. The sample is sent to the laboratory where it is spun and treated to remove obscuring material, for example mucus or pus, and a random sample of the remaining cells is taken. A thin layer of the cells is deposited onto a slide. The slide is examined in the usual way under a microscope by a cytologist."

That Liam Byrne's A Generous Bloke Isn't He?

I was amazed by this Cabinet Office news release. Are we paying our Ministers too much? Oh, I see, it's the Cabinet Office that is giving public (yours and mine) money to charities. Coincidentally, will those charities support Labour Government policies?

No, Prime Minister

The Code of Conduct for Special Advisers does not need tightening up, revising or whatever. Point 6 fits the circumstances of smeargate.

Hitler Wasn't On the Circulation List Of The Minutes Of The Wannsee Conference

So that,apparently, puts the Austrian paperhanger in the clear for the Final Solution and all the blame should be attached to Heydrich and Eichmann for circulating a protocol that wasn't meant to be seen by anyone else, anyway. Adolf is doing everything possible to help hardworking aryan families in this unprecedented global conflict. I'm sure there's a contemporary scandal that has interesting parallels. Aren't employers responsible for the actions of their employees on company premises in company time? I'm pretty certain that misuse of email in the manner reported justifies dismissal without notice for gross misconduct with loss of pension rights.
Digressing, did Hitler claim Berchtesgarten as his second home?

Sunday, 12 April 2009

England Is Suffering From Amnesia

No-one remembers the G20 spinfest now after Smeargate. Hard cheese Gordon! You just don't get more than two days of luck, do you? Don't bother spending a few £ hundred million of printed money to buy votes as it will only postpone the inevitable. Just use your moral compass to find the bearing of an early general election and lead your rotten party into political oblivion for the good of the country. For once, do something courageous for the benefit of other people. Another, cleaner Labour Party that Clement Atlee and Ernie Bevin wouldn't cross the road from can and must arise to help restore proper democracy in England. As Oliver Cromwell said 356 years ago:

"You have sat too long for any good you have been doing lately. Depart, I say and let us have done with you. In the name of God, go! You are no Parliament."
The sooner you go and retire back to Kirkaldy the better posterity will regard you. Every day you stay is another day's delayed cleaning out of the Augean stables of our society. I'm not claiming Cameron will have all of the solutions, but he won't have created most of the problems that you refuse to accept any responsibility for.

Wednesday, 8 April 2009

Section 76, Counter Terrorism Act 2008

Now we know why this bulwark of the War On Terror is so necessary:

I am pleased that Sir Paul Stephenson, Metropolitan Police Commissioner and Jacqui Smith, the Home Secretary have put their full support behind the IPCC investigation of the events leading up to the death of Mr Tomlinson. Quite simply, the behaviour of the policeman who pushed the chap from behind would not be tolerated outside a pub on a Saturday night or in a primary school playground. The thug who did it, if he has ever heard of Peel's Nine Principles of Policing ,obviously feels more at home with those of Beria, Goering, Mugabe et alii.

I will be donating £1 for every non-anonymous comment received up to £20 to the Police Dependants Trust . Please have the officer seriously injured in a burglary early this morning in Newham and his family in your thoughts. I wish him a speedy recovery and hope he is able to return to duty as soon as possible.

Update: 17 April 2009. It is my sad duty to report that PC Gary Toms died of the injuries he sustained whilst investigating the aggravated burglary reported above. My sincere thoughts and sympathies are with his family, friends and colleagues. He appears to have been the model of the quitely courageous and dedicated decent Police Officer that make up 99.9% of the Police. Why hasn't his death been reported widely?

I Don't Think George Dixon Would Have Done This

I discovered this clip of President Obama shaking the hand of the Policeman standing outside 10 Downing Street (presumably a crime of some sort had been committed inside and the constable was securing the area) from the excellent Guido Fawkes. Pace Guido, but I don't think OBL* has snubbed the copper. Surely, despite the obviously well meant gesture, the proper thing for the constable to do was to smartly come to attention andsalute the Head of State and Prime Minister. Formality and respect for office (if not the person in Brown's case) still have a place. Offering a handshake is what the big cheeses should then have done if they saw fit. Still, congratulations to the Duty Sergeant for making that copper's day/week/month /year/life. And congratulations to his mates for never letting him forget.

*OBL: Our Beloved Leader, so popular due to his masterful handling of the British economy that no vote was deemed necessary to install him as Prime Minister.

Hello Jacqui and Jack

Will you be bringing your hubby and children to eat in the 5% price increase-capped Palace of Westminster restaurants?

bomb, semtex, allah akbah, mustapha leik, number 10 downing street, MI5, MI6, House of commons, mohammed, tax increases, mosque, jihad, white power, BNP, National front, anthrax, nail bomb, gordon brown must die, assassinate, IRD, IRA, demonstration, rhubarb and custard, freedom of speech, nuclear device, machete, machine gun, chipolatas ...... democratic accountability.

Is it really worth keeping this post for a year?

Monday, 6 April 2009

Directive 2006/24/EC Post

For the purposes of this Directive *: aren't our government doing a wonderful job and isn't the European Union marvellous? Recession? It's only because I'm not spending enough. It is global and did not start in America. Is that ok for you Jacqui and Jack? Are you satisfied? How many fingers do you want me to see?

* Did your MP use the £10,000 communication allowance to advise you it was coming into operation today? Did the BBC? I only found out because of Old Holborn .


With thanks to the splendid EUreferendum for noticing this. It's a White House transcript of a speech and Q&A held in Strasbourg on 4 April posted on another website called TPM. I've emboldened the "Bushism" in this extract that The One is allowed to get away with by his PR team or rather the news media.

"Q Sonja Sagmeister from a little country, Austria, from Austrian Television. Mr. President, you said you came here to learn and to listen. So a quite personal question -- what did you learn from your personal talk with the European leaders? And did this change in a certain way your views on Europe and its politics?

PRESIDENT OBAMA: It's an interesting question. I had already formed relationships with many of them. Some of them I had met when I traveled through Europe before my election. Some of them I had met because they came to Washington after the election. This is the first time I've been in a forum with so many of them at the same time.
I'm extraordinarily impressed by the quality of leadership. I am constantly reminded that although there are cultural differences that are important and that we have to be sensitive to, what we have in common between Europe and the United States so vastly exceeds any differences that we have; that we should not forget why we are allies, and we should be careful about some of the easy stereotypes that take place on both sides of the borders.
It was also interesting to see that political interaction in Europe is not that different from the United States Senate. There's a lot of -- I don't know what the term is in Austrian -- wheeling and dealing -- and, you know, people are pursuing their interests, and everybody has their own particular issues and their own particular politics.
But I think it's a testimony to the success of the European Union, as well as NATO, that on very important issues, each leader seems to be able to rise above parochial interests in order to achieve common objectives. And I think that has accounted for some of the extraordinary success and prosperity of Europe over the last several years.

All those jokes about GWB asking how many trillions make a brazilian. A word in the shell-like of the liberal intelligentsia: you can gently take the piss out of someone even if they are black or otherwise non-white western male. when they make a mistake. Although Silvio Berlusconi, being a bald Italian friend of Mr Jowell, is skating on very thin ice (babelfish translation: ees a skaytin on a verrreee theen aice) with his buffoonery.

Update: Will BO talk Turkey in Ankara today?

The Times Archive: Yeah, Whatever

The Times has a feature half page in between the births, marriages and deaths and the Court Circular and other classified advertisements titled "Times Archive". It consists of an old photo with a couple of sentences of explanation. On Friday it published a lovely photo of a Handley Page HP45 and a Wibault 282 T12 (oh for the halcyon days of plane-spotting when aircraft could be told apart) and managed to misidentify the Gallic trimoteur as a Junkers Ju-52! Oh come on, Keira Knightly isn't Sienna Miller is she. So I wrote a polite email of elucidation to the Times Archive:

I expect you have had hundreds of similar emails on this topic but this is just a note to advise that the Handley Page aircraft in the background is a HP 45 (known by Imperial Airways as the HP 42W for Western routes) used on Imperial Airways European routes (more passengers, shorter range than the HP 42). G-AAXD "Horatius" was impressed into RAF service and crashed into trees on Tiverton golf course on 7 November 1939 en route from France to Exeter. Four HP 42s and four HP 45s were built.
The "Junkers Ju-52/3m" is in fact a Wibault Penhoet 282 T12 as can be discerned from the writing on the rudder which is doubtless clearer on the original photo. The modified tail suggests it had been converted to 283 standard. (Finlets on the horizontal tailplane and increased height rudder to counter the increased side area of the trouser spats on the 283's main udercarriage.
Hope this clarifies matters.

As of this morning, no reply from the august newspaper of record. However, in the Letters to the Editor section (a bit OTT for a correction, surely) is a letter from a chap in West Sussex (Home Counties so pukka chap) as follows:

"Sir, Your wonderful picture of the snowy scene at Croydon airport in 1936 (Register, April 3) depicted not a German-built Junkers Ju52, which was famous for its corrugated iron type fuselage, but an example of the French-built Wibault-Penhoet 282 that Air France operated during the decade until 1938. F-AHML bore the name Le Fougueux. "

Good for him. Why is it that London-based media is biased towards the South East and yet derides the rest of the country as provincial? My experience of working in the Great Wen is that cockneys make the world's best idiots. And South Easterners come second.

Free Chocolate Is The Answer

My idea to get the world out of economic depression is simple. Governments should buy everyone a big bar of chocolate every week. This will cheer people up, improve mental capacity for thinking up more ideas and it will help the retail and manufacturing sectors and be a real boom to cacao growers in the Third World.

Liberty, Mine

What happened to this excellent blog?

This Made Me Laugh

The irrational whims of religions always make me laugh before feeling sad and angry at their stupidity and cruelty. "But it says so in the instruction book..." I shudder to think how much money has been wasted in this country on, for example, ensuring toilets don't face Mecca (given the Earth is a globe facing directly away is as bad as facing). But now it appears that some 200 mosques in Mecca are wrongly aligned. The good news is that it doesn't affect the validity of the prayers (because of the proximity to the receiver?) Next thing will be that bacon sandwiches and pork scratchings are ok.

Sunday, 5 April 2009

Scarifying The Lawn And Other Stuff

I haven't been blogging lately because I've been rather busy with Ebay and taking advantage of the good weather by spring cleaning the garden. Thursday was especially busy as I rented an electric lawn scarifier (no, it's not telling the grass that sheep will eat it alive) to remove thatch (dead grass) and moss. I collected a compacted 210 litres in the council green waste recycling bin (better to hot compost it than turn into peat in my small scale cold compost bins). The lawns look bare but already new grass is shooting and, as a bonus, the blades on the scarifier have helped aerate the soil so drainage will be better. And all that for only £17.95 from the local hire shop. Next jobs are sprinkling sequestrated iron around the rhodos and azaleas (need a still day for that) and tidying the strawberry bed of dead leaves, weeds and surplus runners (but sink a few pots under a few healthy runners to get free strong plants). Oh, and tidy up the frog bath. And try to stop myself sitting too long just watching everything in the garden bursting into life. (Don't buy garden furniture!) And Gardeners World is back to pre-Monty Don practical tips top form.
All in all a great way to spend time and much more rewarding that reading and writing about scum lowlife MPs, bankers, Bono, Madonna, Jade Goody, $ trillion flim-flams. And the nonsensical laws in Afghanistan (that's worth dying for) and government murder of sailors in HMS Thetis. Only trust people with mud under their fingernails whose reading includes seed packets.
I've just remembered finding a very dopey bumblebee at dusk a week ago. I put a dab of honey on a saucer and carefully lifted the bee onto the saucer. Within a couple of minutes her mouth was stuck in the honey and her 1/8" long tongue was lapping it back. Half an hour later the honey was inside the bee and with a gentle prod to buzz wings in order to generate heat I went inside. Next morning Miss Bee was waiting on the kitchen windowsill and she has followed me into the shed or flown up to me every day since. Look after bees and they will repay the kindness.