Monday, 2 February 2009

More British Jobs Taken By Foreign Workers

The 646 MPs of the House of Commons and 738 members of the House of Lords have recently been taking industrial action (incorrectly reported as longer than usual Parliamentary recesses) in protest against their jobs being taken by MEPs on higher salaries and expenses.
One MP who didn't wish to be identified said "Laws and regulations which skilled British parliament workers used to construct from the blank page upwards to suit British conditions are now being made in kit form by the European Commission and Parliament and most of our job now consists of putting together this flatpack legislation and adding a Made in Britain badge. The rest is forwarding complaints about faulty laws from constituents to Ministers. As the European Union operates a no refund, exchange or amendment (except for large companies) policy regarding its laws, they just have to smile and keep paying their taxes."
To avoid distressing unnecessarily the British electorate or taxpayers by implementing a downsizing of employee headcount commensurate with workload (making redundancies), Westminster workers have negotiated with themselves a skilled worker retention scheme which guarantees to pay them all 100% of their salaries and expenses but with four-day working weeks and additional periods of shutdown.
A spokesman said "It is important to keep our lobby fodder occupied otherwise they might transfer their world-class skills at creating expenses for themselves and their families to currently profitable sectors of the economy and that would really f*** things up. Who would pay for them then?"

One question: Why don't we halve the number of MPs and cut the size of the House of Lords to 100 sitting members? And why not limit membership of the House of Lords to ten years (unless renewed)? The title of baron or baroness is merely another handle to climb higher up the social tree (very useful for restaurant reservations) and recognition of outstanding contributions to national life ought to be deflated to the less pompous rank of knight or damehood.

1 comment:

James Higham said...

I believe in the Lords, if only as an antidote to Brown's concept of democracy.