Monday, 19 January 2009

Bank Bailout Plan Number 3

I thought I'd get this ready for mid-March when Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling will do everything they can to help hard-working bankers keep their bonuses with a £1 terabillion injection to guarantee potential intergalactic losses written on another sheet of paper that was inadvertently left on the photocopier when the previous ast submission to the Treasury was drafted.
Oh well, it's not as if it's real money anymore.


North Northwester said...

I'm glad you spotted this, because I was expecting this latest Big Push would do the trick and we'd all be in Berlin within weeks and home by Christmas.

Look, I'm a pretty patriotic sort of chap and I've still got a few quid in copper and silver in a jar somewhere.

D'you think I should just send them to Mister Brown right away, or put them in a high interest account until March?

Gallimaufry said...

I think you should do what the owner of this recently found pot of gold coins did:

Make a note of where you hide them. The depressing thing is the information that the coins would have been worth the equivalent of £500,000 to £1m then but less now. However, they're still worth more than Bank of Iceni shares.

North Northwester said...

"Bank of Iceni shares"


So Mister Brown's sale of half our gold shares was terribly brilliant, wasn't it, what with the way its value has gone since 2002, then?

Do you think perhaps that his surname REPRESENTS something?

Gallimaufry said...

With Gordon's track record of excellent judgement I'm glad he didn't become an airline pilot.

William Gruff said...

Brown is like a gambling addict on a losing streak, writing IOU upon IOU, with no thought about how it's going to be paid.

Gallimaufry said...

Gruff, you are a genius! Brown is indeed the losing streak on the underpants of economic prudence. But ten years ago who'd have thought we'd all own the British banking industry - we're rich, beyond blair's wettest dreams.

William Gruff said...

' ... who'd have thought we'd all own the British banking industry ... '

That's a worry isn't it? I can see bank charges rising almost daily as The Tartan McReich's F├╝hrer frantically, and vainly, tries to service our great-grandchildren's debt.

Those who think things are bad now should use their imagination a little more. There are big changes ahead and much trouble in store.