Wednesday, 30 January 2008
On other pages, Jamie Oliver has twelve exciting, easy-to-follow recipes for what to do with those leftovers, and Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall on why he would have preferred Him to have used sustainably-sourced fishes.
Sunday, 20 January 2008
The price is £50,000. Please make payment into either the Smith Institute or Progressive Policies Forum accounts. I will attempt to arrange a 419 equity share with them in due course.
Consumer advice: this offer is as bogus as this one. Scroll to bottom of page on link.
* In homage to, not copying, Paul Nash's "Totes Meer" painting of the Luftwaffe scrapheap near Oxford.
Am I confusing party interests with state interests? Please let me know if there is a difference anymore.
Wednesday, 16 January 2008
Gordon Brown, for the best of reasons of course, wants you health screened, wants you as healthy as possible and wants the State to own all your transplantable organs in the event of your brain death, no ifs, no buts. What are the odds that in a few year's time an NHS agency will be set up, headed by a Nulab donor croney, to sell harvested organs abroad to defray NHS costs or "invest in improved services".
And is Gordon really proposing to snatch organs from Muslim corpses or will there be a "faith" get out clause?
Saturday, 12 January 2008
If you are claiming benefits and working up to 15 hours 59 minutes a week but do not want them reduced pound for pound against your wages, have your wages paid to a Think Tank. The Think Tank can then gift you up to £3,000 tax-free.
Idea modified from one used by the Secretary of State for Work and Pensions. *
* warning. This wheeze may not work because of a technicality known as "the law applies to the rest of us".
*Thanks to The Anglo Saxon Chronicle for the doctored poster.*
Instead of deporting terminally ill women (think of Jane Tomlinson ), why not put all those people who exercise their democratic rights to demand the beheading or forced conversion of the rest of us onto a plane and allow them to repeat their demands on the apron at Kabul International to tour expired squaddies. In the immortal words of BSM T B Williams "Oh dear. How sad. Never mind."
Watching the Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall Chicken Out programmes this week underlined one of the key points of commercial poultry production: if a chicken falls ill or deviates from the weight gain curve then it is necked that day. I reckon our wonderful socialist society is fast approaching those ethics: after all, we belong to the state don't we?
* extract of a conversation allegedly overheard in the fruitbowl between a satsuma and a pear.
Tuesday, 1 January 2008
So for you party people hoping to gatecrash the Helmand scene this is what you need:
1 Tea and sugar
2 Flat bread
3 Goat: but make sure it's not someone's special goat - moderate Taliban favourite classic TV is "Just Goat Friends"
4 BBD: big black dress
And hey, it's party time!