Wednesday, 10 December 2008

Good and Bad

I applaud the efforts of Preston to restore some semblance of civility to its streets. Swearing, vomiting and urinating in public are evidence of the decay of society and individual self-respect. How sad though that a poster campaign is needed to educate fellow Englishmen and women of the minimum standards of acceptable behaviour. I remember walking once along an underpass on the Fiveways Island in Birmingham and seeing a large dog cigar on the ground that could not have been extruded from a dog.
Let every town and city in England follow Preston's lead. Make criminals clean every inch of the ground under the supervision of hard-working street cleaners (now that is real public service). Let's make 2009 the year when public drunkenness becomes as much of a social taboo as admitting that football is boring. I don't mind drinking, in fact I don't mind drinking a lot but I don't like people who can't hold their drink. I like people who drink and can still engage in meaningful conversation (which includes listening quietly) or play a game of cards, darts, billiards or dominoes or whatever (skittles for captain haddock no doubt). And best of all I like people who drink with a meal or snacks (pork scratchings, seafood, or best of all good crusty bread, a fine cheese and decent firm, pickled onions*). Good food is vital for social drinking.

* not forgetting thick slices of cold meats with the appropriate condiments: eye-watering mustard and horseradish sauce, richly-complex cumberland sauce and a weapons-grade chutney. And pickled onions for the vegetarians.


haddock said...

There used to be Public Conveniences" they were what they said on the tin..... convenient for the public. These conveniences have mostly been closed completely , or are locked up from 6 in the evening til 9 the next day; for the convenience of the councils.
Some are kept open at night and are infested with poofs who use them to meet people who share their strange habits.
Councils and police are then amazed that someone pees in the gutter...people are perhaps too easily shocked by a natural bodily function.
As for drinking, I gave it up years ago.... not because I don't like drinking... but because I do. For that reason I rarely go into a pub..... most skittle alleys have been converted to trendy dining rooms serving things with jus and infested with braying incomers/holiday cottagers.

Gallimaufry said...

Re para 2: there was one in Coventry near to the railway station that attracted exotic users from as far as London to such an extent that there was no room for ordinary users. It was filled in. There is no longer any justification for toilet misuse since the decriminalisation of homosexualism and legally eforced equality.
The opening chapter of Clochemerle contains an eulogy on the delights of the al fresco slash.
It's a pity to read that so many skittle alleys, once the hallmark of the southwest pub, have been destroyed. Although none possessed alleys, three of my favourite pubs are the Passage in Topsham (last visited 25 years ago when it was a warren of rooms lit by 10 watt bulbs - and no bar!), the George in Bridport and the Square and Compass in Worth Maltravers. I don't like modern pubs.