Thursday, 30 October 2008

Another Little Dorrit

I like Andrew Davies (he always returns a hello if I see him when we take the dog for a walk) but, to be honest, what is the point of a new adaptation of Little Dorrit for the BBC when there is already a definitive 360 minute two-part film by Christine Edzard released in 1988. Surely those films could have been shown in half hour chunks to publicise the release of the DVD? Or does the BBC have a charter obligation to employ every member of British Equity at least once a year and ensure full employment for whisker and bonnet makers?
Ah, this is why. Follow the money because it goes back to the beeb.
Why doesn't the BBC take a chance and commission Mr Davies and other excellent writers to produce original scripts? Or reintroduce the single play format instead of countless murder mini-series or cliched agitprop rants? Did the spark of creativity really leave the BBC with James Purnell MP?

A Geography Lesson For EU Referendum

In a post today, Dr Richard North described Coventry as "that bit of England stuck somewhere between London and Yorkshire". Which is as daft as those Brummies who claim Birmingham is the second city to London (instead of Coventry).
For the simple fact is that instead of being stuck somewhere between London and Yorkshire, Coventry is the centre of England and therefore the world. Therefore, London and Bradford are places miles away on the edge of the world for the purpose of paid business only.
It is a truth universally acknowledged by the wise that leafy Warwickshire has all the arboreal beauty of the Garden of Eden and, except for occasional soujourns to enjoy the coastal areas of Devon, Dorset and Cornwall, there is no need to leave Shakespeare's county.
And to show there's no hard feelings from me to the irascible Dr North here's his equally nice garden in faraway Yorkshire. So, when the EU, carbon-warmers, windmills and everything else gets too much go into your own oasis and chop a slug in half with a trowel before watching the birds get on with life without a single Directive.

Digressing, I remember the industrial psychologist at the DWP in Coventry (it was during a training course for advisers on mental illness and Jobcentre customers since you ask) disagreeing with me that access to gardens, parks or open country was an important means of maintaining mental health. And I hadn't even said that religious adherence (the opium of the masses, unless we're talking about the underclass when heroin is the opium of those masses) which he argued was very important was actually a symptom of mental illness (magic invisible friend syndrome).

Wednesday, 29 October 2008

Is Lord Mandelson Hard of Hearing?

Popular Peter Mandelson has gone to Moskva (well if the beebles call Bombay Mumbai yet still call crap Indian films Bollywood then I can call foreign cities what I want) to work hard for small businesses. He is staying in an allegedly £5,500 suite in the Baltshug Kempinski Hotel while the businessmen and women in the delegation are, relatively speaking, roughing it for £300 a night. What is the purpose of the British Embassy if not to provide secure accommodation and communications for a Cabinet Minister? Perhaps MI6 advised Lord Pigeonhole that he would probably be bugged by the FSB if he slept outside the Embassy.

Saturday, 25 October 2008

Friday Night Recession Music

1997 - is that Professor Brian Cox on keyboard? Labour inherit a Tory boom.

2008 - it's all ended in tears but there's lots of magically created Monopoly money to spend to get out of trouble.

Sic Transit Gloria Mundi.

Sunday, 12 October 2008

1707 Again

With the imminent nationalisation of both the Bank of Scotland and the Royal Bank of Scotland at the cost to the Exchequer of £50billion or many £Mandelsons, would it not be reasonable to expect economies to be made in North Britain such as the abolition of its devolved parliament and executive? For isn't the payment from mainly English taxpayers to bail out the Scottish-based banks a twenty-first century version of The Equivalent? Ironically the Royal Bank of Scotland was established as the Equivalent Society to administer the £398,085 10s bail out to settle the debts of the Company of Scotland. By the way, that is now worth either this or £59.7million so have English taxpayers paid too much for Scottish debts at the insistence of our Scottish Prime Minister and Scottish Chancellor?

Saturday, 11 October 2008

I Don't Blame Iceland, Just Their Bankers

I like Iceland, it's not in the EU and it produced Magnus Magnusson and Bjork.

Notice the Icelandic male dancers who have lost their shirts and trousers due to the bank crunch. I bet Iain Dale will.

So hands off the land of geysirs and viable cod stocks Gordon Broon. If you want to strut around the world stage looking important and statesmanlike, why don't you order the launch of a couple of Tomahawk SLCMs against the Presidential Palace in Khartoum to help sort out Dharfur instead?
I was minded to write this post after reading an excellent one from haddock on honour which includes a moving letter from an Icelander called Runar.
Why the f*** aren't bankers and regulators and politicians apologising for the £trillion f***-up that those smarty-clever sh** forbrains have created through their shortsighted greed. If anyone else had caused that much damage you can bet that the shares of lampost and hemp rope makers would be rocketing away.
Instead, the Police are training in riot control in case cash points are not refilled or bank cards cancelled and people discover they cannot buy food or petrol even though the price is falling. And on the subject of falling oil prices, didn't the energy companies explain their massive price increases on the alleged linkage between the price of crude oil and gas? When will domestic fuel prices fall?

Only Connect ...

Is it just me that makes a comparison between Broon's bullying of Iceland to grab hold of money (using anti-terrorist legislation (ok, it's only been a thousand years after the last Viking raids! ) - btw why weren't Saudi and Pakistani finances frozen to assist the forgotten war on terror?) and Premier Putin's smash and grab campaign in Georgia this summer. Thank goodness strategic overstretch and underfunding of defence makes it impossible to send a Royal Navy task force across the Atlantic to bring a few boatloads of cod back as the first repayment instalment. Pissing off that strategically sited NATO ally is not a good idea when Russia (also pissed off by Blair and Broon) is trying to detach Europe from North America.
And why doesn't Broon write the debt off as he was so keen to do with African kleptocracies? Is it because the Icelandic bankers are just incompetent gamblers instead of incompetent, thieving, murdering gamblers as found in Africa? Or is it because a recent party donor has a substantial portion of her wealth invested in sheep's head and geysir futures?

Wednesday, 8 October 2008

Bankers Must Watch This And Act Accordingly

Now is the time for James Stewart to fix the credit crunch problem.

I thoroughly recommend "It's A Wonderful Life". Buy or rent a copy to cheer yourselves up in these difficult times.

Sunday, 5 October 2008

That $700 Billion Financial Bail-Out In Perspective

$700 billion is a lot of money. However, the payment is a one-off bail-out to restore liquidity in the banking industry. Something that affects everybody. Yet are there complaints about greedy fatcats who received billions of dollars every year despite only amounting to 2% of the American population? Here are some figures about US agricultural subsidies. Note that between 1996 and 2002 an average of $16billion per year was paid : that's $112 billion in seven years when things were going well. Perhaps those Wall Street bankers should wear plaid shirts and jeans in order to improve their PR.

Ministry of Spells & Magic Created

Rumour has it that J K Rolling has been offered a seat in the House of Lords as Baroness Rolling of Rollingrollingrawhide and will head up a newly established department charged with returning the world and Britain in particular to the the sunlit uplands of continual economic boom, producing an end to child poverty, a Bentley for every African, world peace and a cure for climate change so successful that we will all need to wear a pullover for a couple of years until Nulabour global warming kicks in. The Wildlife and Countryside Act will be repealed to allow the culling of sufficient numbers of newts and toads required for potions.

Cabinet Ministers Share Official Car To Reduce Carbon Footprint

It could have been investment bankers. I am very fond of orang-outangs and offer my thanks to the Daily Mail for the splendid article accompanying the lovely picture. Aaaah! Better than credit crunch and Peggy F***wit the Caravan Queen becoming Housing Minister. Labour's election winning idea: "We're All Travellers Now!"