Thursday, 21 August 2008

Bloody Wasps

I hate wasps.
I was stung by one yesterday evening. I wasn't threatening it, it simply landed on my arm and stung me. After a fifteen minute search I found the Waspeze and applied it liberally to the affected area. Strangely, I've experienced flu-like achey joint symptoms in my arm ever since*. I put an ice block on the sting this morning which soothed it. But the immediate area still feels hot , tight and itchy.
So I hate wasps with good reason. I watched the third episode of Richard Dawkins' excellent C4 series about Charles Darwin and Evolution on 4OD this afternoon and wished all the starey-eyed fundamentalists bleating creation would get stung by wasps. Would they thank The Lord for His Benificence? How do they explain a wise, kind creator inventing an all-round sod of an insect that doesn't do useful things to compensate like make honey? Before they die of cold, wasps spend a fair proportion of the year killing other insects which seems a rather wasteful process to be designed - why not produce fewer other insects instead to save all that killing and eating? Wasps are the feral hoodies of the hymenoptera and help prove evolution by natural selection because their genes have been passed on to the next generation for at least 50 million years. You can bet that a friendly wasp wouldn't last long enough to get friendly with another jasper.
So if any wasps are reading this post, may I invite you and your friends to a slap up meal of strawberry jam in a jam jar in our garden. Bring your cozzies because there'll be swimming afterwards.

* Not a reported symptom of wasp stings according to Dr Google.

7 comments:

CherryPie said...

They always do that to me to, they seem to settle sting first. I love bees but as you say what is the point of wasps?

William Gruff said...

They eat carrion.

Aileni said...

It is my belief that bumper stickers should be produced for use in the FundaMENTAList strongholds proclaiming: 'It's Duration, Stupid!'
hanks for your kind comment yesterday. I think we are more at sea today, still acting as though she were here.

Gallimaufry said...

And why do they need the ability to sting carrion ie dead meat?

William Gruff said...

They don't; the sting is defensive (hence the wasp's bright colouring). I think there are eight species of wasp in the 'U'K but without Googling them I cannot say whether any of them 'hunt', though one of them, which, from memory, is not brightly coloured, may actually be predatory.

Of course, I could be talking nonsense. Someone will put me right if I am.

Gallimaufry said...

Well, the one who stung me wasn't acting defensively except in the sense of a pre-emptive strike against a neutral party.

CherryPie said...

I am with you on this one they are aggressive, not defensive I have been stung 4 times by wasps and each time I was just minding my own business and they landed on me sting first.